A fight isn’t the end of the world. An argument doesn’t mean it’s over. Gentleness is godliness. Kindness is strength. Patience is powerful. This knowledge comes from the stars…and scars. Divine, earned. -Kelly Diels
I came across this gem of a reminder that I saved from a year ago. I couldn’t help but share.
Divine, earned baby.
Each year that I grow older, my tolerance lowers.
I used to fly with the breeze and care so little about who said what or even people’s actions (toward me). I think in part, it was the process of growing up, learning what matters to you, understanding your core values and realizing that putting your foot down is sometimes, the most important thing you can do for yourself.
Today, I find myself caring. Hard. Maybe even sometimes, too much.
I get upset and righteous when someone I’m close to permeates constant negativity toward themselves or others. Why does it matter? Are they hurting me? No. I just think negativity doesn’t serve a purpose and I’ve found, it’s not something I actively choose to create around me daily.
I get in a tussle when I find people leaning too heavily on me. Need and want are two different things. As is, a give and take relationship. For some reason, I used to never care when people would take, take, take, ask, ask, ask. I was so lax. Now, it’s one of my buttons and I’m sensitive to it because I’ve experienced the burnout that only I bring onto myself, by allowing the take. Today, I practice “no” more often and have a tight community that I know I can ask them, they can ask me, we both want to give. Otherwise, the I-can’t-pull-myself-up-by-my-bootstraps crap gets to me.
Another thing that gets under my skin? When customer service fails and when they’re blatantly rude, even though I’m the paying customer. We all make mistakes. It’s not that, it’s when people project their poor customer service on you, going against their role. For instance, I’m usually so sweet I never have sent back a dish at a restaurant before. But now, if I’m treated with disrespect or if I’m asking for help from a company I pay for and their support falls through, the wrath comes on. Let’s all treat each other with respect.
Another thing? When friends show up only when they need something. Before, I didn’t really realize this. Now, it’s exhausting. It’s also obvious and lopsided.
I used to sleep on the floor if need be, stay up late, take red-eyes, take multiple connecting flights because it’s cheaper, etc. etc. Now, there’s value to the dollar and how hard I work. A direct flight for a little more, always worth it. A little more sleep, to get through the day and stay healthy because I’m not 18 anymore, worth it.
Lately, I’ve been hyper-aware of my lowered tolerance. I’m into slicing through the bullshit and making a more authentic, enjoyable experience. It is worth being happy and if things don’t make you happy, find out why, then change it.
When I read through this, this whole lowered tolerance bit sounds intense, but it’s all about recognizing our needs and opening up the pathways for a more fulfilling life.
What about you? What’s your tolerance?
I recently took a week-long trip home via road trip with the man and the pup.
Home is quiet, southeast Iowa in the most unusual town in America.
I haven’t lived at home in 8 years, so my life and home now, is here in Boulder. Nonetheless, my room hasn’t changed since high school. Old pictures hang all around my room, dangling from old scotch tape and love. It’s essentially just as I left it, the day I left for college in 2004 to go to Vermont.
Peppered with memories and nostalgia. Call me a ‘hoarder’ but I like keeping those memories, those experiences, those people. It’s preserved and the only way I know how to make it stick.
This time, since I had more than a few days and a lot of prescribed downtime my mom insisted I clean out my closet.
Alone, I sat down, cross-legged in front of my large closet on the plush peach carpet in my room and looked at what stood in front of me. I wear none of the clothes, because I haven’t had them in years but as I slowly pulled open each drawer and dragged dresses off hangers I watched my past unfold.
I found:
My velour baby blue pants I used to rock when I was 15 ala J.Lo, my Summa Cum Laude shawl that represented diversity in culture as I walked across the stage to graduate college, ripped Levi jeans, signed by Jurassic 5 from a weeknight concert where we skipped part of school to drive an hour to Iowa City to see that are so soft and worn I could rub my cheek on it and feel warmth, a beautiful dark blue and glittered mask from when I was in Venice for Carnivale when I lived in Italy, the favorite black halter top I think I wore weekly in college (I’m bringing this back with me), endless homemade barcrawl shirts for friends’ birthday parties, t-shirts from many of the places I’ve visited from Costa Rica to Amsterdam, my Cedar Valley Stables shirt where I was a camp counselor year after year in Middle School, orientation leader t-shirts from college, a purple soccer jersey from Florence’s Italian team, both graduation dresses from high school and college, the hot pink va-va-voom dress I wore to senior prom, a basket full of all my cards from graduating college and actual film from all the photos I’ve taken.
I had two giant trash bags to give away and one that was, well, trash. Some of it was time to move on from, that held no significance and was simply clutter. I allowed myself to experience all of it, but felt good moving on from it.
Just walking through the experience reminded me of the trajectory of life – roundabout, up and down and never simply straight.
I cried a little, smiled a lot, and threw my head back in laughter at some of the things I found.
Maybe now, I know why I put off cleaning out my closet for so long. We try to preserve experiences through memories but there are certain tangible items, that hold significance that sometimes our memory can’t quite jog.
With my mostly empty closet (had to keep those prom dresses!) it still holds those memories, preserved and safe. Forever mine. It’s not a place to look back on, just knowing it’s there is enough, while I continue to look and move forward.
Note: Jun has been a longtime blogging friend (we’ve even met in real life at BlogWorld before). While we were recently chatting, I asked him to contribute his thoughts on how to start a company and become an entrepreneur. He already has created multiple startups and been through the ringer in learning what works and doesn’t. Enjoy!
I started my first startup 3 months after I graduated from college. At the tender age of 22, I quit my corporate job, moved into a 1-bedroom apartment with my co-founders, and set off to create a virtual world called FD World.
The company failed in less than a year.
I built my 3rd startup in 2009 – a digital technology agency focused on building social apps for US brands. In less than a year, I sold the company to the largest SEO company in Southern California.
In less than 2 years, I went from failing two startups to finally having a successful exit. Below I’ll teach you what I learned during those 2 years and how I’ve applied these techniques for my latest startup that has raised over $1M in funding.
Idea Phase: give yourself a head start
FD World failed for many reasons, but one of the biggest contributing factors was that no member of the team had relevant virtual world experience. Looking back, it just didn’t make sense: why did we strive to build a virtual world when we had no experience with virtual worlds?
When creating your idea, think of your hobbies, interests, and explore your network. For example, my graduating class had many investment bankers. I’m not a banker, but because I have a large network of investment bankers, it makes sense to build a product or solution for them.
This is what I call “giving yourself a head start.” Build a product for an audience that you have connections to; build a product that you would use yourself.
Team-building Phase: too many cooks in the kitchen
I met a group of 3 Stanford MBA students with a startup. Their idea was in the mobile app space. When I asked how many of them were developers, they replied, “None of us.” This startup was doomed to fail.
And it did. Just 7 months after I met them, their startup had failed.
It’s not enough to build a team of smart, capable people – your team must compliment each other. If you’re building an Internet startup, the ideal team is a developer, designer, and the all-purpose business guy.
Do not outsource the development of your product. Your product will go through tons of iterations before launch, causing you massive headaches if your development team is outsourced. You NEED a technical co-founder – do not skip out on this.
Where to find your team: subscribe to the Startup Digest and attend as many events as possible. Network your butt off and you’ll eventually find your team.
Product-development/Customer-development Phase
Note: basic principles come from Steve Blank’s 4 Steps to the Epiphany
This next step is very important – as the team is building the product, go out into the field and interview your target customers. Make sure to bring your co-founders to the meetings as well because it’s important for them to hear the feedback first-hand from target customers.
Questions to ask:
Interview as many people as needed until you begin to see a predictable pattern in answers. Use the answers in the creation of your product so that you build the right product for the right target audience.
Product launch Phase
You will have learned the following throughout the customer development process:
Now that the product is complete, return to the target customers you interviewed and sell them the product that they want. You roughly know how much to charge because you know how much their pain costs them and how much they pay for their current solution.
Follow up questions to ask:
Fundraising Phase
Fundraising is hell.
Our current CEO’s full-time job is to fundraise. If there’s anything I’ve learned, you need a dedicated person to build the product, another person to sell the product, giving you time and availability to fundraise for the venture.
Where to begin: Introductions will get you funding. Your goal is to get an introduction to an Angel Investor or Venture Capitalist from a trusted source. This trusted source would most likely be a founder that was funded by the investor. Take these steps:
Your goal is to build a solid relationship, make the case for why your startup will succeed, and respectfully ask for an introduction to the investor. This is the quickest way to get in front of an investor and have a chance at funding.
-
Good luck and feel free to reach out to me at any time to chat about startups.
About the author: Jun Loayza is the Co-founder of RewardMe – a digital rewards program for restaurants and brick-and-mortar retailers. Prior to RewardMe, Jun founded SocialMediaMarketing.com (sold to SEOP), where he led social technology projects for LG, Levi’s, and Activision.
I was 15.
I sat at a mahogany desk, holding the phone in my quivering hand. On the other line was an International customer, interested in buying gemstones. As in rubies and diamonds, gemstones.
I remember the words flowed out of me, asking questions, negotiating a rate and discussing our buying process, directly from the source with non-heat treated gemstones (a rarity in the industry).
When I hung up the phone my eyebrows raised. The corners of my lips raised in a slight smile and I let out an exhale, leaning back in my chair.
—
It started in my dad’s business, as a longtime gemologist with an international business of selling to consumers and other gemstones buyers/partners I learned how he sold, how he interacted with customers and all through high school and in the Summers in college, I worked there filtering from different responsibility to the next.
Today, I’m leading the charge as Director of Marketing and Sales at another startup I’m part of, where each action and step I take, make an impact guiding the team and vision. I find myself talking all day long. I’m on the phone with customers, I’m providing answers, I’m servicing during our product trials, I’m recommending new features to our product team, I’m problem-solving with support and I’m socially sharing.
I never thought I would be involved in the hustling end of sales. I’m not a ball buster. I’m not sleazy. Those are all the things we may associate with sales, right?
Steve Martin shared in Harvard Business Review a case study revealing traits of top salespeople and I was intrigued to see at the top of the list was modesty.
Modesty.
Contrary to conventional stereotypes that successful salespeople are pushy and egotistical, 91 percent of top salespeople had medium to high scores of modesty and humility. Furthermore, the results suggest that ostentatious salespeople who are full of bravado alienate far more customers than they win over.
Other traits included curiosity and contentious among others.
With both my parents as entrepreneurs, I find that even if you’re not in a role that involves sales, you must know how to sell. It is applicable in everyday life, when you’re finding a new job, when you’re interacting with friends or in a professional circle.
I’m pleased to see modesty stand through. After all, humility is one of my favorite traits in people. I’m completely drawn to it and it’s truly about understanding how to create and cultivate a relationship.
How do you find the role of sales in your life? Do you despise it? Do you find success from just understanding how to interact with people?
A lot of what I’ve written about here in the last three years have been related to career and the journey is takes you on, especially as Gen Y where we go through more jobs in 5-10 years than our Grandparents or Parents have in a lifetime.
Recently, I connected with Evan Walden (we both went to college in Vermont at the same time and didn’t know it) who is part of a rad startup, that recently moved to Boulder, Colorado.
ReWork, is a startup social enterprise that connects exceptional professionals to organizations with a social or environmental mission.
I love the idea. Connections are my thing. I’m like a part-time matchmaker.
I want to share ReWork because it helps both parties. Specifically, they’re looking for people who refuse to settle for work that isn’t meaningful to them and companies that are making the world a better place. I urge you to check them out, as they’re in the business of helping people and bringing goodness in the world too. Can’t beat that.
If you’re interested, connect with them over at http://rework.jobs/!
And, it’s back.
Found some serious goodness recently.
So first, I lamented a lot about losing Picnik. Especially for the food blog as it’s photo heavy. I found PicMonkey and believe it’s the closest replacement (Google+ is a close second, but doesn’t have collage feature). Check these fools out.
Drinkify is a fun party trick. Enter the music you’re listening to and they will generate a perfect cocktail pairing. Fun.
I Live Here Because is a cool photography project based here in Boulder. She asks people why they live here. A photo and their answer is the whole site.
I was featured on my Foodtree friends’ blog as part of their Food Advocate series. It explains my serious love for food and everything around it. Thanks for the interview, guys!
Over and out! Happy weekend.
Yesterday was my birthday.
There has been a tradition that my mom likes to joke about, in which, every year on my birthday I cry. Every since I was probably 5. It’s usually happy tears, sometimes overwhelmed tears, sometimes frustrated tears and sometimes nostalgic tears.
I always try to bite off more than I can chew. I consider my birthday the beginning of a new year. I set goals, I look back and reflect and I look forward to what I want to create.
But guess what? On my birthday this year, I didn’t cry. I let my friends take the reins with planning and organizing, something I typically do and worry if everyone is enjoying themselves. I was relaxed all day for the party, there was bubbly, delicious food and lots of laughter.
Here are some highlights from the last year:
I had an incredible birthday week. I felt love from around the world from friends and family, and my heart is literally swelling with joy. Thank you to everyone!
Much love,
G
Signazon.com