Small Hands, Big Ideas

As you read this, I’m laying on the beach in Mexico with my best friends, sipping a margarita – but, that doesn’t mean I forgot to Friday Linky Love it. I will be completley unplugged and probably won’t even see a computer the entire time I’m there (read: my birthday is on Saturday, my best friends from college and the best for last, one of them is having a beach wedding!) Lots of love all around and also why I don’t mind that everyone else is going to SXSW – I’ll see you all there next year.

Enjoy these goodies:

• elle la mode: On Friendship, Flow and First Impressions
• Crazy Girl Nation: Lessons From Power Couples
• The Mad Grad: International Women’s Day – 100th Anniversary

I have this thing, where I sometimes assume people are in my brain and I will speak about “said thought in Grace’s brain” when talking with friends. When I do this verbal explosion, the context is ambiguous or often, we talked about that topic an hour ago and are talking about something completely different. I get a bunch of blank stares, raised and furrowed eyebrows and finally a, “Grace, what are you talking about?”

I know, I need to work on it. I get excited and want to share what I’m thinking, but my wavelength doesn’t equal your wavelength. If anything, it’s a reminder that we’re not intuitive. Very few people automatically know what you’re thinking. We can’t all read between the lines and some people don’t pick up on subtle body language clues that might be expressing your emotions.

So here I am, recounting the many times when I was complaining about not getting what I wanted, struggling with a friend, my job, or just life in general and I realized that although venting can be beneficial, there comes a breaking point where you need to stop stewing, stand up, speak up and ASK!

Just like when I struggle asking for help, (because I still think I’m Super Woman) and I finally muster up the courage to ask for help. I receive the help and I’m so surprised at how easy it was to ask, how fulfilled myself and even the ‘helper’ feels. Really – it’s amazing.

I will often ask friends in their disgruntled state, “Well, did you ask them? Did you bring this up to them? Did you tell them how you feel?” if they’re feeling the frustration of ______(fill in the blank). More often than not, myself included, there’s a quiet, “No…”

I smile, flash my dimple, maybe throw up my hands or shrug my shoulders then I say, “Then what are you waiting for? Ask for what you want or need. The worst thing that could happen is you don’t get what you want, which is where you are at, right now!”

This might seem oversimplified, but this is something I think many of us deal with, weekly.Verbalizing it here, somehow makes me feel a little more on point but mostly, it gives me that kick in the bum, when I’m frustrated but haven’t spoken a damn word to (even try to) make a change.

Just ask for what you want. Remember people aren’t in my brain, so why would someone else be in yours? Our emotions and feelings are valid – if the problem persists, address it. Do yourself a favor and remember, happiness is a choice.

When was a time you wanted something and finally stood up to ask for it? What happened? Was the result positive? Did you learn anything?

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I love writing. You know, my hand, a pen and paper. Not typing on a keyboard.

My mother taught me to always send hand-written thank you letters. I still do. I have my own stationery, a drawer full of unique cards, notes and letters so I am equipped to write at anytime. For example, I wrote 20Things I love about my friends, in list form, from the inspiration of Operation Nice and sent the handwritten lists around the country to my friends. Think about how good it feels to find a card or letter in your mailbox amongst the mundane bills.

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Funny coming from a blogger, right?

Well, it worries me, because we’re the first generation to have no written record of ourselves. An article on the importance of writing humorously asks, “If Jefferson had sent text messages to Adams, think what would have been lost to history.” A valid thought, no doubt.

I find it ironic that we e-mail and text and all the massive amounts of information shared through YouTube, television, cameras, phones, networks and blogging which record every second of our lives, however, it can all be deleted or lost in translation. Newsweek author, Malcolm Jones finds the root of this problem “is sifting through the set of data. The most common complain of our time is that we are overwhelmed by information, unmediated and unstoppable.”

I agree with Jones when it comes to lack of writing in our generation: “The decline in letter writing constitutes a cultural shift so vast that in the future, historians may divide time not between B.C. and A.D. but between the eras when people wrote letters and when they did not.”

Writing isn’t only a nostalgic feeling for us but “when we read a letter, we develop an image of the letter writer unavailable to us in any other way.” We are transported to the writers words, voice and personality. The written word is alive to me. It’s like comparing your favorite book, eloquently written and envisioned, to a movie. The two simply do not compare.

Writing is important and writing is real.

I write to clear my mind. I write to understand how I feel. I write to express myself. I write to show my love. I write love letters. I have a box of love letters I’ve received over time, from crushes, the big love, high school, college and this year. I will keep them forever. I write to give. I write lists and notes, everyday. I write what I want in life.

I write and I don’t want to stop writing. Pretty soon (if not already) we will be comparing our eras – where people used to write and to now and the future, when we stopped the art of physically writing.

***UPDATE*** A reader sent me this great article in the Wall Street Journal talking about the postal service’s declining business but how the written word is still going strong. I wanted to share with everyone because of it’s relevancy and interesting content. Not to mention, thank you all so much for sharing. I’m happy to hear, there are so many others who find an affinity with the written word. Keep sharing and of course, keep writing. -G

Have you thought about the historical context of hand-written versus online? Do you still write letters or cards or is completely obsolete to you?

So I jumped on the Formspring wagon. I like asking questions, usually when I first meet you, I play 20 questions (informally, you just don’t know it) then I listen. Like really listen, because I care to hear the answer. With that being said, if you want to know a little more about me, find out what’s in this head of mine, ask away right here. There are some great questions, already.

This week I was interviewed by Your Hidden Potential, a great resource (check ‘em out) on helping young entrepreneurs to stay educated, informed and motivated to reach higher goals. I spoke on blogging, mentors, what keeps me inspired and a little more about me in general. You can read the interview here.

Enough of that, let’s jump to who is doing it right!

• Learn To Duck: Location? Location! Location.
• Corn On the Job: The New Hire 20
• Modite: Resource Guide: Best of Generation Y
• Life After College: Empty Spaces (and Moving Past Loneliness)
• Life Without Pants: As you might have seen here, Matt released The Epiphany Moment project. Watch all the great videos here.

Last week, I saw a tweet about Happiness Is, a documentary on yes, you guessed it, happiness. Screenings were making stops throughout the United States and Boulder was next. Since I’m usually down, I gathered some friends to see what was up.

It began with writer and director, Andrew Shapter as he hit the road in his van asking Americans, “What is it that makes you happy, what is your pursuit of happiness and how do you achieve it?”

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In the three years Shapter and his team were on the road filming, he said, “I looked for people that are really satisfied with what they are doing in their lives.” The end result showed touching stories of the rich, the poor, rockstars (e.g. John Mellencamp, Willie Nelson) and the famous (e.g. The Dalai Llama). I like how Shapter covered big cities and rural America. I feel he properly covered a diverse group of people that told a story.

The end result and somewhat conclusion came from one of my favorite terms and beliefs, “Giving is living.” We find great gratitude and of course, happiness from giving and your community that is a subset of natural giving. Although the film wasn’t groundbreaking or new news to me, I still felt touched by each story and liked the (simple) conclusion of sharing, giving and community, creating more happiness.

At the Boulder screening, Shapter talked about his 20 year background in fashion photography (pretty superficial world) and his uncertainty on how to end the film or find a conclusion. Finally he asserted, “The more I went around and had these soul-searching conversations, I realized the people who were happiest were those who tried to make their community better. Those were the happiest people around.”

One of my favorite stories was from a life-long shoe shiner. He believed in giving to a children’s hospital and through his shoe shining career he gave over $100,000 in donations (little by little, a couple dollars at a time). What a meaningful amount for a shoe shiner, who believed that even the smallest donation could make a difference and give back. His story was so touching.

Finally, through the conclusion to the film, Shatner realized “what I truly wanted–and needed–to do was to use the film as a tool to try and achieve that happiness goal by turning each screening into a fundraiser for a charitable cause.” Very admirable and kind. This screening I attended was for the Colorado Coalition to End Hunger.

Below is the trailer, take a peak. You can check out the website here and see if your city is on the screening tour list.

Simply put, what is your pursuit of happiness? How do you define and find happiness?

Dare to be true:  nothing can need a lie:  A fault, which needs it most, grows two thereby.  ~George Herbert

Dare to be true. It’s not easy – we live in a society where deceit, betrayal and dishonesty are prevalent. You know what I’m talking about – averted, downcast eyes, believing someone so much only to find out their words were tainted. I cringe at the thought, at the lies that have hit me in the chest and that place where those lies come from.

But dear George Herbert is so right. There are few instances in which I can think a lie is warranted and even when you bend the truth a little, to speak the sweet truth, I still feel a pinch.

With that being said, I am a human. I have lied. You know little lies, that you don’t think are a big deal, or not the whole truth.

Or is lying really a lie when no one asks you, but you also don’t tell? I want to keep certain things to myself – secrets that don’t need to be surfaced, but rather harbored, until they are ready to be opened up. It depends on your definition of lying, but I’m raising my hand, here’s my truth, I’ve told a lie. Or two…

Lying is one big black hole, isn’t it?

Okay, so I’m simplifying it. I still firmly believe in daring to be true. My best friends are refreshingly honest with me, I know I can always count on that and in return, I will give them the same respect. And really, if you live in an honest world and tell the truth you don’t have to back peddle or try to remember your lie(s).

I feel better living an honest life, where I trust what I say instead of looking behind my back, trying to cover my lies and wonder who will find out.

After all, truth alone triumphs. It always does. That’s the truth.

So, I dare you, to be true. Tell me about your lies and your truths. When have you slipped up? When have you been honest?

[Note: In the spirit of truths and lies, here's some full disclosure for you: This post is connected to the Athenos Two Truths and a Lie Party in Denver, where they're giving away lots of cool stuff, including a free trip to South Beach! I love their hummus and I'm going, so if you're local and thinking about attending, you can RSVP here.]

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It was back in October when Matt tweeted about a “top secret” project. I’m like a little curious girl when it comes to hearing “top secret” so I immediately responded, “I’m in.” No matter what it was.

Fast forward, five months to today – Matt released the video collaboration, The Epiphany Moment, that involves 27 amazing individuals, from all walks of life talking about their moment. Matt describes the moment as “life changing – it’s one of those moments in your life when everything comes together – when it all “makes sense” – a true moment of clarity.”

Sharalyn says it best: “moments” is the key phrase, that we will have many epiphany moments, not just one throughout our lifetime.

Although it was hard to choose just one of my “moments” the one I filmed was more recent and relevant to my life, currently. It has to do with not settling, with taking a big risk even when nothing was set in stone and believing that happiness is a choice and a choice that I wanted to be part of.

Watch my video below, to understand what I’m talking about*

The Epiphany Moment – Grace Boyle from Matt Cheuvront on Vimeo.

I highly suggest you watch every single epiphany moment video. They’re all interesting and different. Matt did a great job collaborating, bringing in Tim Jahn and Courtney Olson to do the editing and beautiful music, respectively.

*Note: Just ignore that I’m saying “aha moment” instead of “epiphany moment” because not only am I that curious little girl, but I also sort of walk to the beat to my own drum. Oops.

So I want to know? What’s your epiphany moment? Did a light bulb go on? What’s that moment in your life when everything was clear?

Note: The following is a guest post from my friend, Beth Oppenheim-Chan.

Being in the nonprofit world is sometimes a thankless affair. Long hours, lower pay scales, and not always seeing the direct impact on your work can be some of the challenges. BUT it’s my love. Somehow, through all of the different paths and directions my work interests have taken, I have remained faithful to this one.

Being on the fundraising side of things, I have constantly been bombarded with articles declaring these days to be the dark days of philanthropy. When the economy goes down, common sense leads people to think that giving goes down too. To a certain extent, they are right. But these folks forgot about my colleagues in Generation Y. All of us working in entry, mid-level, and entrepreneurial positions play a role in the innovation of philanthropy – and I have been impressed with what I’ve seen.

Innovative ideas like Project 7 and Changents have taken what we know about giving, and caring about the world – and changing that to reflect Gen Y’s particular tastes. Networking, and the NEW buzzword on the block – social entrepreneurship – that has everyone talking about new ways to help, all reflect Gen Y’s changing ideas of what it means to “do good.”

For me personally, I think I’ve encountered both sides. Philanthropy is an entrenched idea – one that doesn’t change overnight. The majority of nonprofits still get their funding from traditional grant sources such as foundations (community, private, public) and government grants.

In the fundraising business, people value age and experience. Sometimes, it’s a challenge to bring out the new voices and ideas. But in my opinion, it’s a must.

New and innovative ways of thinking are cropping up everywhere – and I applaud it. The more we get people involved in changing the way people give, the more people whose lives we can ultimately affect through our work. Having the privilege to post on Grace’s blog is a testament to the way people our age value philanthropy – volunteerism and reaching out to others are both great ways to do good.

So how would you lend your voice to this evolution? What can we do as entrepreneurial Gen Y-ers to reinvent this wheel?

Bio: Beth Oppenheim-Chan is a blogger over at 25 and Trying, where she writes about her career in the nonprofit world, life, and a bit of international development sprinkled in. Feel free to connect with her on Twitter too!