Actually Asking For What You Want
I have this thing, where I sometimes assume people are in my brain and I will speak about “said thought in Grace’s brain” when talking with friends. When I do this verbal explosion, the context is ambiguous or often, we talked about that topic an hour ago and are talking about something completely different. I get a bunch of blank stares, raised and furrowed eyebrows and finally a, “Grace, what are you talking about?”
I know, I need to work on it. I get excited and want to share what I’m thinking, but my wavelength doesn’t equal your wavelength. If anything, it’s a reminder that we’re not intuitive. Very few people automatically know what you’re thinking. We can’t all read between the lines and some people don’t pick up on subtle body language clues that might be expressing your emotions.
So here I am, recounting the many times when I was complaining about not getting what I wanted, struggling with a friend, my job, or just life in general and I realized that although venting can be beneficial, there comes a breaking point where you need to stop stewing, stand up, speak up and ASK!
Just like when I struggle asking for help, (because I still think I’m Super Woman) and I finally muster up the courage to ask for help. I receive the help and I’m so surprised at how easy it was to ask, how fulfilled myself and even the ‘helper’ feels. Really – it’s amazing.
I will often ask friends in their disgruntled state, “Well, did you ask them? Did you bring this up to them? Did you tell them how you feel?” if they’re feeling the frustration of ______(fill in the blank). More often than not, myself included, there’s a quiet, “No…”
I smile, flash my dimple, maybe throw up my hands or shrug my shoulders then I say, “Then what are you waiting for? Ask for what you want or need. The worst thing that could happen is you don’t get what you want, which is where you are at, right now!”
This might seem oversimplified, but this is something I think many of us deal with, weekly.Verbalizing it here, somehow makes me feel a little more on point but mostly, it gives me that kick in the bum, when I’m frustrated but haven’t spoken a damn word to (even try to) make a change.
Just ask for what you want. Remember people aren’t in my brain, so why would someone else be in yours? Our emotions and feelings are valid – if the problem persists, address it. Do yourself a favor and remember, happiness is a choice.
When was a time you wanted something and finally stood up to ask for it? What happened? Was the result positive? Did you learn anything?
Pingback: Impatience Is a Catalyst | Small Hands, Big Ideas