Perfection At First Try

2010 March 30
by Grace Boyle

Last night in yoga class, our teacher started with a story.

She received a message from a friend who expressed her fear; her fear of yoga. Her friend explained, “I’m so scared to try yoga. I can’t even touch my toes, I’m so embarrassed.” Our yoga teacher paused, closed and opened her eyes softly, then smiled.

“Isn’t the ego a funny thing? She was so scared to try yoga because she felt she wasn’t good enough yet she hadn’t even tried it yet. How often do we forgo trying something new, simply because we aren’t good enough or we aren’t perfect, right away?”

The class laughed agreeably – some raised their hands acknowledging.

It’s a simple message, but it resonated with me.

Why would you start something new, experience a challenge or branch out, if you were perfect at it? There would be no learning curve or no fulfillment from reaching milestones or becoming better. So like I did in yoga last night, I cared less about how much I could stretch and how long I could hold each pose, and let go of my ego. I sank into the sweet undulation of my mind, felt what I was feeling and let it be.

There is joy to imperfection, there is process in growing and no one started something perfect, without making mistakes.

Next time you discover a new hobby – want to pick up your guitar, try a new sport, run a mile further, take Spanish lessons, or learn to knit a sweater, even if you won’t be good at first try, let go of your ego, and just do it. It’s really quite simple.

Can you relate? Did you ever not start something because you thought you weren’t good enough? What really held you back?

Photo Credit: Me, Vrikshasana (tree pose) on top of Sugarloaf Mountain, CO

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from → Change, Health and Science, Honesty, Inspiration

  • http://ryanstephensmarketing.com/blog/ ryanstephens

    Ego & what people will think of us (which is probably highly correlated with ego) are two of the things that I believe hold people back the most. Would you dance like an idiot if nobody was watching? Yes, so why not dance like an idiot when everyone is watching. Who cares? It's significantly easier said than done, but wouldn't life be so much better if we did? I've seen ego become detrimental to too many people: in work, in relationships, in life. Let it go!

  • http://www.smallhandsbigideas.blogspot.com Grace Boyle

    @Ryan It probably is one of the biggest inhibiting factors in life – the ego keeps us from doing so much. The times when I have let go of my ego have been the most fulfilling and rewarding for me. Now, I just have to slap myself around a little bit to remember that ;)

  • http://katingiro.tumblr.com/ Kat

    I agree with Ryan, and I think it's not even so much what others will think of us, but what WE think they will think — often very different things. Often people are a lot less judgmental and critical than we expect, if they even notice our so-called “flaws.”
    I've always wanted to learn to salsa dance, but I've been too embarrassed to take a class because I don't think I'll have any talent for it. But I guess I really should, once and for all :)

  • http://doniree.com/ doniree

    I absolutely adore the simple beauty in this post. What a great reminder to take those first steps to try something new, and bathing in the learning curves instead of running from them. I think Chelsea has been NAILING this approach to life lately.

  • http://www.smallhandsbigideas.blogspot.com Grace Boyle

    @Kat YES! Go for it and try salsa dancing. The mistakes make it challenging in the beginning, but it feels so good when you can make your way through a song/dance after practicing and putting yourself out there. Perfect example. I expect to hear how well your dance lessons are going in a month ;)

  • http://www.smallhandsbigideas.blogspot.com Grace Boyle

    @Doni It is so simple, right? Almost so simple that I didn't want to post it – but I thought that it is something simple that holds a lot of weight. I also loved how our yoga teacher delivered it and you know how I feel about yoga ;)

  • http://www.bflofutsal.com/ryanknapp/ Ryan Knapp

    Definitely my biggest thing to improve on is this. I'll do things in private, but I become increasingly self conscious, mostly out of a fear of rejection that I've always had.

    I've tried loads of things, but it seems to be something that is harder to get over than I thought. It's not an ego thing…but it's something that I can't put my finger on.

  • http://www.smallhandsbigideas.blogspot.com Grace Boyle

    @Ryan Can't we not put our finger on our ego? I think a lot of people misunderstand that ego is someone who is boastful and full of themselves – that is not what I'm referring to. The ego that is deeply entrenched into who we are reflects that piece that holds us back because we're afraid to fail, afraid we're not good enough, etc. It holds us back from doing things that we want to do.

    Either way, I understand what you mean in terms of something you can't quite put your finger on. This definitely afflicts me at time and I have to snap out of it, because it feels so much better when I let go. Thanks for sharing, Ryan.

  • http://www.lauriesteiner.com Laurie Steiner

    It's funny that you wrote this piece, Grace. I have actually considered yoga classes for quite some time now. My friend Megan (http://wellthatsawkward.wordpress.com/) got into it a while back and I swore I would do it with her. Then I chickened out and totally didn't go for it. Fear? Ego? Busy life? Probably all of the above.

    And it's not like I don't know how to face my fears–heck, I ran two half marathons without having any previous running experience. I was scared out of my mind that I was going to fail but went for it anyway. But for one reason or another, I just can't get myself into the yoga studio.

    Maybe this post is a sign :)

  • http://www.smallhandsbigideas.blogspot.com Grace Boyle

    @Laurie Yessss, yoga is the move invigorating and relaxing activity I've ever done. It really does so much for you mentally and physically. Perfect, take this post as a sign and go with Megan to yoga :) Then tell me about it! Pretty please :)

  • http://www.lauriesteiner.com Laurie Steiner

    I know, I know… and lord knows I could use a relaxing activity in my life. Some down time (and me time, for that matter) is always a good thing. I would go with Megan but she (like you) is an adventurer who has since moved to Portland. So, with yoga I am now on my own. — Sigh — I can do this. And of course, I'll tell you all about it.

  • http://lunsh.net/ Stephanie

    Yes – there are a ton of things I've been wanting to do lately but I'm afraid to try because I'd be bad at it. I also am shy. I'd like to be able to share what new things I'm doing, but I'm very afraid of people not being impressed with what I might create just because I'm new at it. I've been thinking about learning to draw lately. I'd have notebooks and notebooks full of things I can't share with people because it's not perfect. Is it worth it?

    It's got to be, right?

    Learning to dance is another really good example of this. I definitely won't dance in public because I'm so graceless. Thanks for provoking this topic!

  • http://www.smallhandsbigideas.blogspot.com Grace Boyle

    @Stephanie We do not do things because of other people's opinions…we do things because we're driven by interest or passion to do so, right? Who cares what anyone thinks? Furthermore, we cannot predict what people might think and they may love your new endeavors. We can never know until we DO.

    To your dancing point, sometimes it's just nice to let go. Graceless is a form of dancing and it's also a way to let go. I bet dancing in public with your girlfriends, when you have completely let go of all inhibitions and your favorite song is on is pretty fun. So why hold back? Whatchya got to lose, right?

    Thanks for sharing – and I would love to see your drawings:)

  • jrmoreau

    I've started a few things and surprised myself at the progress I made early on. I've got about 1000 things I have yet to start because I'm convinced I don't have the commitment necessary to see them through and I kick myself in the ass for it. I feel like I need to approach every new thing I try with a fresh set of fears and no expectations except that I'll learn, because when I go into something new and try to apply the arrogance of previous successes in other endeavors, I get disappointed with the lack of quick progress and give up.

    This is reminding me of a lot that I'm waiting to get started on. Thanks and rut roh…

  • http://www.smallhandsbigideas.blogspot.com Grace Boyle

    @James I've always got a little kick in the rear and rut roh for you! :)

    You bring up a good point about having MANY things you want to jump into but you may not have the commitment necessary to see them through. I was referencing starting just one or two things you have been meaning to do but the first piece, can also be a dilemma for people.

    I like baby steps. Plus, doing 2 of those 1000 things is better than doing none, right?