Perfection is Overrated

2009 June 3
tags: , ,
by Grace Boyle

“Perfect is boring. Human is beautiful.”

I’m never going to be the girl with the perfect hair and manicured nails who always looks put together. I’m irrational, I’m definitely impatient, I’m outspoken, I take on too many projects at once and I can be sensitive because maybe I care too much.

Coming to terms with me, is all part of the battle but what makes me feel on top is that I’m aware. If it’s a “flaw” that needs some fixing, I will focus on it. If it’s just a flaw and inherently part of me–the eclectic bunch that makes me who I am–so be it.

I know people that physically appear perfect and also seek perfection in the people around them and their own goals. Sometimes I want to kick them in the shins (did I just say that out loud?) It’s the truth, you wonder how they do it? How do they look so good? How do they always keep it together? How do they not show a sign of struggle?

I will let you in on a little secret-chances are that perfect person (think about it, you can probably think of someone) doesn’t think they’re so perfect. It’s relative. We’re our own worst critic.

Perfect is defined in the dictionary as , 1 a: being entirely without fault or defect. When we speak of human beings, this is impossible. My dad is a gemologist and there are perfect, flawless diamonds. There literally are no cracks, and their loupe magnification is FL: Completely Flawless.

diamond

Photo Credit: The Chic Ecologist

Human beings are not diamonds. Human beings are not flawless.

There is in fact, a joy in being imperfect.

Stick to your imperfections. They make you you. Don’t dwell on that personality quirk of yours. It vibes with some people and the naysayers will always scream nay. Thank them for naysaying, showing you another opinion, respect that, but then politely move on and keep being you.

I say reach high. Strive for excellence but realize that failure and mistakes, shape and mold you more than that “perfect” score you received on the SAT or the “perfect” relationship or the “perfect” job you’re trying to find. Don’t be so hard on yourself and realize that where you are going and what you are doing, is often a lot more than you give yourself credit for.

Life isn’t filled with milestone markers. It’s messy and isn’t linear. As Anatole France once said, “I cling to my imperfection, as the very essence of my being.” True that.

Think about it. Do you strive for perfection in your daily life? Do you belittle your imperfections, wishing you were different?

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  • Erica
    Dr Suess said "Be yourself, for those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind!" So here's to not being a diamond!
  • @Erica I love that quote, thanks for sharing it. It's our new toast, "here's to not being a diamond!"
  • Knowing that I made your day makes my day. ;) haha
  • Oops I'm sorry- Grace*. :)
  • @Blake So funny you mention the Serenity Prayer, I love it! I'm not religiously inclined (rather spiritual) but I keep that by my bed and read it each night. It's so validating: acceptance, courage and wisdom all of which are important pieces to the mix. Thanks for sharing it, this just made my day!

    And don't worry about the name mixup. A lot of my friends call me Gracie, it's a nickname that is often used. Not offensive at all ;) Thanks for sharing Blake!
  • Whether or not one is religious, I think the Serenity Prayer is an incredible piece of advice that relates to this post.

    'God grant me the serenity
    to accept the things I cannot change;
    courage to change the things I can;
    and wisdom to know the difference.'

    Life becomes so much more enjoyable when we can accept that we cannot change all our imperfections, while also realizing that there is no need to. Then we can truly begin focusing entirely on the meaningful things we can impact without worry for the trivial imperfections. I'm still working on this myself, but I think I'm progressing.

    Hopefully this made some sense; I'm also looking for ways to use that prayer! :D

    Awesome post and blog, Gracie!
  • Perfection is deception, simply because nobody can actually reach it. You can reach a certain amount of potential for yourself, and be proud of it. There's probably no highest goal for any of us, however. There's always something more we can have, whether it be a fit body, a more satisfying relationship or career, or one of a million material things that we all live our lives around.
  • @Simon It is deception, but what's the difference between perfection and acquiring/surmounting your goal? Maybe knowing that there's always something more helps keep us driven, but in knowing that the grass is always greener or never being satisfied could eat someone alive. Good points!
  • Wow, what an amazing and beautiful post! I love it, and everything you say is so true that I barely have anything to add to it. I don't want to be perfect because like everyone else has pointed out, that leaves no room for improvement or living life, really. Where's the motivation to do anything at that point? The biggest thing driving me forward in life is wanting to achieve, accomplish, and be a better person. If I don't have to work towards anything, what is the point of life anyway?

    I also think perfect really doesn't exist. Like you pointed out, even people who we look at and admire and think are perfect have flaws, and they probably are wanting to improve too. No one is perfect and we have to keep in mind that it's all relative. Too often we go around idolizing celebrities or entrepreneurs or any other people we admire - without realizing that actually, we're ALL human. They may have done amazing things but it doesn't mean they're perfect.
  • @Akhila Precisely! I think having role models or people to look up to is very important, but keeping in check their human qualities is part of what we can look up to. Thanks for sharing!
  • @Elisa I'm glad you've seen through and decreased the level of pressure on yourself. It's true that although I push myself very hard and always expect the best, the other imperfect parts of me still exist. I do think that you can be more Type B and very successful. Yeah? Thanks for sharing!

    @Jenny Of course I won't hold it against you, K. Clarkson always holds it down. I noticed as time has elapsed that my standards (for everything in life: relationships, work, etc.) are high, but more realistic, more human if you will. This has helped me knowing that I'm not settling but that I realize that flaws and imperfections make it all beautiful. Thanks for the kudos and congrats to you too, girl!
  • What a wonderful, amazing post. Don't hold it against me, but it reminds me of the Kelly Clarkson song, "Beautiful Disaster." The idea that we can be beautiful in all of our flaws, and that yes, that is what makes us human and more lovable! If we expect perfection in ourselves and others we will be constantly disappointed.

    The ability to let go, relax and give ourselves a break is so important. Some of the negative comments I say to myself or the bar I set are NEVER things I would say out loud, or to a friend. So why are we so strict or so mean to ourselves sometimes? No good answer, but just like you say in your post, noticing when we fall into that trap and snapping ourselves out of it is the important part!

    Thanks Grace, and congrats again on making the Top 10 Gen Y Bloggers list - very well deserved!
  • I remember once thinking "Man, being perfect has got to be exhausting." Then I became a perfectionist and I discovered it is!

    In the past 8 months or so I've started reverting back to my happy non-perfectionist Type B self. Still ambitious and driven, with a lot of crazy "not-s0-average-ness" thrown in to temper into a beautiful disaster that is finally getting around to loving her life!
  • So true Grace. There is not much a follow up can add to what you've laid out here. If I'm perfect, where do I have to go? What do I have to live for? I think we all strive for our own version of perfection, but it's a life-long journey. We're not going to be perfect at everything we do, we're not going to succeed at everything. We're molded and shaped by our failures, our hardships, our relationships, our friendships, our achievements, AND our successes. It's a combination of all the stuff life throws at us and how we deal with it that makes us who we are.

    Well said Grace.
  • @Matt I know, you're right. Sometimes it's hard to see or realize that going through the hardship is what gets you out on the other end. It's really a great point that if you reach the top, where else do you have to go from there? Then again, Olympic athletes who win the gold are indeed satisfied, but there are many other areas of their life that they may feel unfilled in. It's perpetual, a cycle and always evolving. Thanks for your thoughts, Matt!
  • @Aaron Thanks! Positive feedback is always appreciated.

    @Rachel Good for you! That's very exciting and I love hearing stories like your own. Do it, just to do it and try something new. Small, baby steps always help me when I'm trying to move in the right direction. If I take a big leap, it's harder to gain footing. Thanks for sharing!

    @Sam I have started to relish in the fact that I'm imperfect and I like it that way. Just like the quote I featured from Anatole France "as the very essence of my being." And like you said, that's all any of us can do is to try our best and know that is enough.
  • This is beautiful, Grace, and such an important message. I agree, perfection is overrated, and there is definitely joy in being imperfect. I'm never going to be the girl with the perfect hair either, I wish! But seriously, if nothing else, I think trying to maintain a perfect life or a perfect appearance would take so much effort and probably be pretty stressful. I am definitely my own worst critic, and I'll admit that sometimes I'm a little too hard on myself, but I don't strive for perfection. As long as I try my hardest and have no regrets, that's good enough for me. Great insight!
  • rachelconn
    It's hard to avoid negative thoughts and dwelling on the few roadblocks in my way to having my own perfect situation. But my way of dealing with it is setting small, achievable goals for myself that I know will improve my life.
    Recently, a co-worker inspired me to try my first triathlon this summer. I’ve never been a superstar athlete, so training for it has been hard and taught me about discipline and perseverance. It’s 8 weeks away, and I do find myself worrying if I’ll be able to finish, but it’s been a great experience so far, and has really helped improve the way I view myself.
  • Wow - great post!
  • Random thoughts and quotes on this amazing, amazing post:

    - Juan Manuel Fangio, historic F1 multiple champion, once said: "You have to be the best, but never think you're the best.

    - If I were perfect I'd honestly kill myself. Being perfect leaves no room for improvement. Leaves no room for living.

    - Your biggest flaws and mistakes are very often your main motivators. When you fail, if you can see the beauty of it, you'll take a step towards that unreachable perfection.

    Finally, think of any competitor, of any life "champion", and I can assure you the main reason behind their success, is that acknowledge that they are anything but perfect. That's why they keep working, that's why they seem perfect.
  • @Carlos Ah, I love your comments what great attributes to my thoughts and the post. I didn't even mention that "being perfect leaves no room for improvement," and then we are stagnant and as a race that isn't possible. Maybe acknowledging that you have done your best is enough, because you can create your own success scale...hmm. Thanks for sharing and thanks for the support (as always)!
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