A Roundup – Small Hands, Big Ideas’ Posts On Moving and Relocating

2010 December 6
by Grace Boyle

I have written about the topic of moving, the power of a place and relocating often. It’s the most popular topic that new, referring traffic lands here for.

So here is an accessible resource for all referring people, Googling “How to move in your 20’s” “Should I move in my 20’s?” “Relocation for work,” or just plain, “moving,” that keep landing here. Hope this resource helps!

In chronological order:

The Debate: Location VS. Career April 14, 2009

The “I Can Do Anything,” Freedom In Your 20’s May 7, 2009

How I Prepared to Relocate and Made It Work May 18, 2009

The Element of Surprise July 20, 2009

I’ve Moved, Now What? August 12, 2009

Life Out Of My Comfort Zone (Guest Post) August 24, 2009

The Delaying of Stability and Permanency Brought On By the Odyssey Years September 28, 2009

Pick Your Place and Let the Rest Fall Into Place February 1, 2010

I’m a Wanderlusting Seeker, Not a Nester March 23, 2010

Traveling (Even When You Have a Full-Time Job) April 12, 2010

An Interview With My Cousin Who Just Traveled Around the World July 20, 2010

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  • http://akhilak.com/blog Akhila

    Love this roundup and have been browsing through your past posts on this topic. It is particularly salient for me at this moment because although I have traveled and lived in a lot of places in the past 4 years (moved from suburban New Jersey to Chicago for undergrad, London for a year, India for 3 months, and Geneva for 3 months), my most recent move to Washington DC is the one that has taken the most toll on me. Despite loving what my new city has to offer I feel emotionally depressed because I am no longer with my loved ones- I am far away from my boyfriend, close friends made in undergrad/study abroad, and my parents and extended family. I have had to make new friends here but still, I long for the familiar comforts of my closest friends and significant other, and it has been a difficult and emotional struggle to overcome perpetual feelings of loneliness. I think it is the adjustment to post-grad life where you’re really, on your own and alone, that makes it a particularly difficult transition for me… I write all this here because it looks like you’ve gone through similar things in Boulder and I would love to hear your thoughts!

  • http://www.smallhandsbigideas.com Grace Boyle

    Akhila – That makes a lot of sense. Glad to hear you liked the posts.

    I think you should only leave behind those loved ones if you really feel ready. Sometimes leaving them, just to pursue a job can be detrimental. I left a boyfriend that I was still with, to head West. We’re no longer together. It’s extremely hard to sustain or create a new life, without that person you want to create a life WITH. Do you have an out date? Or when you will move or live together?

    As we all know, a job is not life. It isn’t the only thing and our happiness are often the intangibles. I spent a lot of time lonely in Boulder but I also knew it was WHERE I wanted to be. I didn’t go to Boulder for a job, I came to Boulder for a life. If that isn’t being created or you can’t feel that in D.C. maybe another place could offer that.

    Either way, I always encourage the testing and trying of being somewhere new. Being patient is key, as well as trying all your options.

    It took a year or so of adjusting, meeting new friends, creating a community, finding what made me happy, creating and sustaining a new love life that is actually here, etc. to finally feel settled. The biggest piece is to be happy and finding out what your happiness is…I hope that helps :)

  • http://akhilak.com/blog Akhila

    Grace, thank you for your kind response :) I too moved to DC for more than just a job – I thought I could make a life here, in a city known for it’s non-profit and policy wonks and the thriving political/government sector, all of which I am passionate about, as I currently work on civil rights issues. As a city, I absolutely do love it. Perhaps not as much as New York but definitely, a lot more than Chicago where I was before. The people I have met here are great. I do think this is a city where I could make a life for myself.

    When I first moved here, I enjoyed it. It was something new. Most recently however, I have found myself longing for the old, familiar, and my loved ones. Not sure why this shift occurred. When I moved here, I did feel ready- I didn’t really think I would be so lonely.

    I think this would be the perfect city if my boyfriend was here too. Honestly, I think that is biggest difficulty- we don’t know when we will be in the same place again, we don’t really have an “end” in sight. I am sort of just hoping things will be figured out as we go along. We have been together for almost 3 years now (!) and I think at this point, I would more readily let go of other things than our relationship, if it had to come to that.

    All I can do is wait and see where things go, and as you say it takes a year or so to find a community. Maybe I just have to keep on trying…

  • http://www.smallhandsbigideas.com Grace Boyle

    That makes a lot of sense. From a long distance relationship perspective, it is so helpful to have a goal or end date in mind. Maybe living away from friends, loved ones and your family all contribute to that frustration/sadness.

    Sometimes, places just don’t work out. Maybe you could give yourself a milestone or another 6 months to work toward. If you still feel the same way, then you have the power to move, try something new or look for a new job…

    But that’s the beauty in trying things out. We aren’t sure how it will work and it taught you something along the way. It doesn’t mean you failed, it just means you’re onto something else.

    All I can say is to not sacrifice your happiness :) If it escapes you more often than not, being close to loved ones is special and so wonderful!

  • http://akhilak.com/blog Akhila

    Thanks, I agree, I will keep going for another 6 months, since hopefully then my boyfriend will also know where he is going next, and then I might reevaluate, see how happy I am here. It’s always worth trying someplace new, relocating and hoping for the best because you never know how things will turn out. Thank you! :)

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