Comments on: Filtering My Dreams as a Woman In 2010

By: US jobs

US jobs — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 09:24:00 +0000

Beautiful blog! You really make me relate with your blog that when I was a student, I truly dream for being married with such perfect girl, has a talent, tall, intelligent, pretty, etc.. and have a fantastic kids but when I’m starting to have a job. All of that dream was vanished and replaced into being a rich guy someday. Actually there was a time I want to choose either “Relationship or Career” and I choose Career because now a days crisis is getting worst.

By: Spending Too Much, Too Soon In Your 20′s | Small Hands, Big Ideas

Spending Too Much, Too Soon In Your 20′s | Small Hands, Big Ideas — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 15:59:44 +0000

[...] Negative net worth and debt aren’t sexy either. So why not go the other way? Be a little more frugal? Save where you can and still enjoy – because both are definitely possible. [...]

By: Lacking a Life List | Small Hands, Big Ideas

Lacking a Life List | Small Hands, Big Ideas — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 13:03:22 +0000

[...] with me. I started thinking, is this because my life list may change so drastically day-to-day? Not to mention, my visions and goals sit nicely in my head. I’m acutely aware when I say, “I can’t believe I’m finally here, I’ve [...]

By: Are We Ever REALLY Independent? | Small Hands, Big Ideas

Are We Ever REALLY Independent? | Small Hands, Big Ideas — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 15:44:12 +0000

[...] often talk and write about my independence, so do my [...]

By: I’m a Wanderlusting Seeker, Not a Nester | Small Hands, Big Ideas

I’m a Wanderlusting Seeker, Not a Nester | Small Hands, Big Ideas — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 15:49:17 +0000

[...] I think about a mate or partner for life, the quality of a “seeker” seems to be more analogous and important to me. For example, an ex of mine chose to stay in his [...]

By: When It Hits the Brain, It Feels So Good | Small Hands, Big Ideas

When It Hits the Brain, It Feels So Good | Small Hands, Big Ideas — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 17:08:02 +0000

[...] I have a blog post that is brewing and I can’t stop writing until it’s finished. These are always my best even when it came from an inopportune time. Furthermore, I can actually pride myself by [...]

By: Grace Boyle

Grace Boyle — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 21:46:13 +0000

@Milly Thank you for this – I love it. As I perused through each of these comments each woman has such a good story (no matter what side of the fence they're on).

You're so right that “having it all” means different things at different points in your life. It also of course, varies by the person, the family, the couple. You're a living, breathing example of how you've balanced life, love and family. Of course, it isn't easy, but you haven' t settled and that's an inspiration. You continue to follow your bliss, while also finding what “having it all” means. Thank you so much, Milly xo

By: millymalloy

millymalloy — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 05:44:15 +0000

Great blog Grace! After being married for a long time and having 2 kids, I refused to believe that “you can't have it all.”
“Having it all” means different things at different times in your life. It evolves as your desires, needs and wants evolve. Sometimes there is a gap between what your “having it all” was and what is becoming and that period can be very frustrating. But the hardest part of “having it all” is truly knowing what “all” looks like for you regardless your status and/or social expectations.
The “having to settle” part is just sad. I've had to surrender to external circumstances at times but I have never settle for them. In not settling I have found creative ways to do what I want. This might take time and patience but that is just life. I think that in a happy marriage you will have to
compromise but only the things might be important to your ego, not to your soul. And yes that is easier said than done, ask Russ!

By: Grace Boyle

Grace Boyle — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 21:41:46 +0000

@Ellen You bring up great points about 'serial daters' or people who cannot be alone. I didn't mention that in this post but I really agree with you. Being alone and being okay with it, is pretty amazing and benefits you as an individual and also the relationship. Thanks for stopping by and sharing!

By: EllenNordahl

EllenNordahl — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 10:04:11 +0000

Well said, Grace.
It bothers me to think that some women from our generation are still willing to settle for “Mr. Right Now” because they feel pressured by society to conform to some antiquated ideal. I have quite a few friends who recently got engaged, and many of them have never gone more than a month or two between “serious” relationships. Call me crazy, but I have a hard time believing that 60 days is adequate time to develop a keen sense of self-awareness without factoring in the influence/presence of another person.
I think one of the reasons so many marriages fail is that people look to their partner for fulfillment or “completion,” or they're so scared of being alone that they try to mold themselves into being the person they think their partner wants them to be.
Kudos to you for wanting it all and having the sense to live life for yourself until the time is right for you.