Impatience Is a Catalyst

2010 March 25
by Grace Boyle

I’m really impatient.

I can just hear my mom’s melodic voice singing in my ear, “Patience is a virtue, Gracie.”

Still, just thinking about the feeling of impatience – I feel this bubble rise from the pit of my stomach and it makes me want to scream or ball my small hands into fists in exasperation. I know, it might sound immature – I’ve luckily learned to “cap” it pretty well so my impatience rears its ugly head (mostly) when I’m alone.

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When I was talking to James the other day and hearing his story as he is taking a big, fun leap into a new move and opportunity he mentioned he is currently in the “waiting game,” until paperwork goes through for this opportunity. Obviously, there’s nothing he can do because the ball is out of his court and he knows he will be hearing back from them in a certain amount of time. I started to think this is when it’s important for him/I/you to recognize, patience is good. Learning to wait and being okay with it shows depth of character – so does understanding the line between when you really can’t do anything or is there still more you can do, to ensure you make it happen?

There’s a lot of value to patience and besides learning patience, it’s inevitable for life to be able to understand that immediacy isn’t always the best case scenario. However, I beg to differ that impatience can be beneficial.

What about when an employer says they will get back to you as you’re applying for a job, but you never hear from them. Be impatient (politely) by showing your invested interest, follow up and don’t just sit on your hands.

What about when you’re trying to plan for a big move and your ‘ducks’ aren’t in a row yet, so it’s delaying the big move. What about those ducks in a row? Can you figure them out as you go along? Will they fall into place? What about the surprise in life? I was impatient and wanted to move to Boulder right away – even though I didn’t have a job or apartment lined up. Obviously, those are two key pieces to life so they clearly, fell into place and I made them happen as I was heading West on I-80. Again, impatience for the win.

I look at patient people and think calm, polite, integrated and organized. I look at impatient people and think irrational, spontaneous, and unruly (yes, I just described myself here). Where do you find yourself? Does this work to your advantage or not? These are questions I ask myself. I believe in using your inherent characteristics to the best of your ability. Knowing and understanding your “downfalls” actually lets you learn to use them to your advantage, in my case, impatience.

I do realize patience is important, but I’m a Pisces and still starry-eyed enough that I will be impatient until I make whatever I want/need/desire to happen. I believe execution is important. I don’t let impatience rule my life or irritate m. I don’t scream at people and I don’t stomp my feet (even though I might feel like it). I counteract those feelings with yoga, people skills and yes, learning a little piece of patience to my impatience.

I call it, constructive impatience.

So throw up the sails. Don’t belittle yourself because you’ve been scolded or told you were impatient. Impatience can be indicative of success. Some of the most prolific entrepreneurs and explorers were impatient, asked questions, didn’t settle, stayed hungry and went for it.

Are you patient or impatient? How have you used either, to your benefit?

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from → Generation Y, Honesty, Inspiration

  • http://notsoliteral.com JR Moreau

    I’m impatient always, but I realize I’m more impatient and irritable when I know I’m waiting for something that will probably suck. I’m cool with waiting a while if I know what I’m waiting for might be worth it. Does that make sense?

    Basically, I do a shitty job of convincing myself something is awesome, just because someone else says it is. I need to listen to myself and then being impatient is easier to deal with.

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  • jrmoreau

    I'm impatient always, but I realize I'm more impatient and irritable when I know I'm waiting for something that will probably suck. I'm cool with waiting a while if I know what I'm waiting for might be worth it. Does that make sense?

    Basically, I do a shitty job of convincing myself something is awesome, just because someone else says it is. I need to listen to myself and then being impatient is easier to deal with.

  • andreavlewis

    I'm patient, but my patience definitely has an expiration date. Okay, on second thought (after writing that last sentence), maybe I'm not. I tend to set time frames in which to accomplish (insert goal here) and when that doesn't happen then I get impatient/antsy/nervous.

    Your mom is a wise woman, patience is a virtue.

    I think learning to be patient is something that we try to accomplish throughout out lives. And like with life, things tend to come with time.

    Nice post Gracie!

  • http://www.smallhandsbigideas.blogspot.com Grace Boyle

    @James You bring up a good point about being impatient when you just want it to be over with and don't like the in between. When you know the reward is going to be well, nothing, I wouldn't want to wait around either. Thanks for prompting me to think about my impatience, through your patience :)

  • http://www.smallhandsbigideas.blogspot.com Grace Boyle

    @Andrea Definitely agree that we start to get antsy when our goals or timeline don't start to fall into place, as we once planned.

    I suppose the point of this post was that impatience can actually be beneficial. Constructive impatience let's you be a catalyst, pushing forward with goals, ideas or visions and not letting go of them until it has been accomplish. At the same time, I recognize that patience is very important…I was just sick of hearing “impatience needs to be fixed” or that it is negative, when really, I think I go for more things in life versus my patient friends.

    If that makes sense :)

  • http://lindseydonner.com/ Lindsey Donner

    I think a mix of both is critical. Be patient about the things you can't (or shouldn't) control – I'm thinking about big-ticket issues, like selling my house in Mexico. Being impatient doesn't serve anyone in that situation, does it?

    On the flip side -

    Be constructively impatient about everything else – or you might miss opportunities. If I can learn a new skill to make something happen more quickly, or if I can empower myself to fix an otherwise lingering problem, I try to do it. This happens often in my work life, and I think it's the reason that I've taught myself so many important skills.

  • http://www.smallhandsbigideas.blogspot.com Grace Boyle

    @Lindsey Always a balance is key to life, right? And you're right, being impatient can largely NOT help situations at all. That is why I referenced my friend James in the story. There is nothing he can do but wait for the paperwork to arrive (which it will).

    I like how you mention impatience can sometimes help with missed opportunities or creating new ones. It's very true. Largely, I wanted to voice that impatience gets a bad rep and there are ways to skew it to work for you, your career and your life! Thanks so much for sharing and stopping by :)

  • http://actasifbiz.com/ Jason

    Hi Grace,

    Great post! I can relate; I'm incredibly impatient. Over time, though, I've realized that it can take a long time to get where you really want to be. Chasing quick fixes is easy, but I think some of your best accomplishments come from a long-term focused effort. I think the happy medium is to be patient, but act with a sense of urgency.

  • http://www.smallhandsbigideas.blogspot.com Grace Boyle

    @Jason Thanks for the specific idea of “long-term focused effort.” I think many of the things in our life, do not come with the snap of a finger. It takes time, tailoring, mistakes, ups and downs. My impatience helps to draw on those experiences and push them forward, so it actually happens.

    Thanks so much for sharing!

  • http://fiwk.blogspot.com Royce

    See this is fantastic – this is essentially the same advice as you get from literally hundreds of extremely successful people. Don't wait: the time to act is now.

    I read literally this exact advice in both the Warren Buffet biography “The Snowball” and from the hundred successful people interviewed for “The Richest Man In Town” by W. Randall Jones. They all say what you say – impatience (channeled positively) is the key to success and making things happen. Always try to achieve a little more today than you did the day before. Don't wait to address a problem, act immediately. And on and on.

    Strangely, although the word “impatient” is being used here, I find that I'm oddly at peace when I feel this way. It's almost a feeling of “I'm not gonna wait, I'm gonna do it, and it'll work out” which leads not to anxiety but to confidence. You seem to feel the same, yes?

  • http://www.smallhandsbigideas.blogspot.com Grace Boyle

    @Royce I like how you reference the interview and biographies by finally citing “impatience channeled positively!” That's a great way to put it. Sort of like I say, “constructive impatience.” Same idea.

    I do feel the same as you. Thanks for “getting” it, Royce :)

  • http://www.opheliaswebb.com Elisa Doucette

    I admit it's semantics which I only occasionally like discussing, but reading your post I'm curious if there's a little bit of impulsivity mixed in with your impatience. As you noted, impatience is that feeling deep down where you want to stomp around or “harumph” a lot waiting for things to happen. It's very passive.

    And Ms. Boyle, passive is one of the terms I don't think I would ever apply to you. :)

    Instead, I like impulsive. Not like that crazy not thinking jump off a building to see if you can fly impulsive, but a takes action and gets things done when mind is set to it impulsive.

    For the record, I know it is shocking, but I'm generally pretty patient.

  • http://www.smallhandsbigideas.blogspot.com Grace Boyle

    @Elisa Impulsive? Yes, I would definitely consider myself as an impulsive person, so you're spot on there. I would say that many impatient people I know, have levels of impulsivity. I think they're two closely related characteristics, although not always coupled nicely, it still seems to exist with the two actions.

    In addition, impatience without action is passive and you're right, there is very little about me that is passive. I suppose the whole reason behind this post was the actionable items and fulfilling life stories (career, big moves, friends, adventures, etc.) have come from me going for what I want and not taking “no.” That is constructive impatience to me…if that makes sense.

    I really like what you had to say here – thanks for your thoughts and ideas. I think each year I get older, I become more patient and it feels nice :)