The Delaying of Stability and Permanency Brought On By The Odyssey Years

My friend Erica passed along a fantastic (albeit older) Op-ed piece from the New York Times called, “The Odyssey Years.”

Author, David Brooks explains that there used to be four common life phases: childhood, adolescence, adulthood and old age. Now, he sees at least six: childhood, adolescence, odyssey, adulthood, active retirement and old age. The least understood and most transient is the odyssey stage (cough, cough: 20-somethings, gen y).

Brooks explains the odyssey years in which 20-somethings, “Go to school and take breaks from school. They live with friends and they live at home. They fall in and out of love. They try one career and then try another.” Nothing new there, we hear about all that everyday.

Me running through the golden field. Photo Credit: Jeff Fazekas

The thing that resonated the most with me is how the odyssey years really delay stability and permanency, but they’re not for slacking. It’s very much an evolved action. The odyssey years in 2009 are so different than 1960. In fact, they didn’t really exist in 1960.

Now and Then

From a generational standpoint, people who were born before 1964 tend to “define adulthood by certain accomplishments — moving away from home, becoming financially independent, getting married and starting a family. In 1960, roughly 70 percent of 30-year-olds had achieved these things. By 2000, fewer than 40 percent of 30-year-olds had done the same.”

William Galston of the Brookings Institution and Robert Wuthnow of Princeton, two of the country’s best social scientists have spent time understanding the odyssey phase of life. They find that through growing up, we’re in tightly structured childhoods but then we move forward to a world characterized by “uncertainty, diversity, searching and tinkering.” The old way of finding success, simply do not apply anymore. Everything seems to give way to a less permanent version of itself, marked by uncertainty.

This fluidity jumbles up social life, love, finances and job experience. Marriage occurs later in life. We don’t stay with the same company for 50 years. Many 20-somethings are comfortable living paycheck to paycheck or devoid of a savings account as they travel the world or enlist in the Peace Corps. I frequently remind myself that I know very little about my future and how it may unfold. I relish in the surprise.

When Do We Find Stability?

Ironically enough, when Erica passed me the article I said, “Ah, I love it!” She responded “I hate it. I think it’s really hard.” It refers to the instability and constant change of your 20′s. I mentioned that her stability was more than most where she has a full-time job, a serious boyfriend, a car, bills and a semi-permanent apartment and lease in her new home, Boulder (she has relocated and traveled frequently like myself). Erica goes onto explain that the stability is fake, because at any moment any of that could change. At any moment, she feels like she could, “get knocked back on my (her) ass again.”

When do we close our eyes and take a deep breath? When do we begin to follow the intangible thirst most 20-somethings of 2009 have? My response to Erica was, “it’s for the interim, and the stability isn’t fake. It is real…for where you are now.”

The odyssey years aren’t meant for complete stability and even if you feel like you’re ‘drowning’ you will probably find a flotation device soon or reach the shore to dry off and get out of the water. Life isn’t linear. Change is constant.

I have many friends and mentors who are older than me. They often pat me on the back and say, “Oh, that’s what your 20′s are for, honey.” Even when I wrinkle my nose, indignantly stomp my foot or retort, “Age is relative. I’m more mature than most 30 year-olds I know!” I still appreciate the time I’m able to spend alone, the fact that I can pick up and move across the country because I want to and the vacations I can take without having to consult anyone but myself.