Guest Post: Single In the Digital Age
Note: Patrick contacted me as a newb blogger earlier this month. His energy and enthusiasm struck me – he wanted IN and he wanted to know everything about blogging. He threw a few ideas my way and here he is with a personal story about (online) dating via guest post. Welcome him!
Bio: Patrick Mullaney writes over at his blog HeyMullaney. He would love to have you view his blog, and he loves to converse over email as well. His email is patmullaney24 [at] gmail [dot] com.
As you can tell from the title, I’m single. And it’s not by choice. I would love to have a girlfriend, but I have a hard time meeting anybody these days.
You remember that old Dane Cook joke he tells about his friends wanting to go out and search for some chicks as if they are down an aisle in a local grocery store? I wish that was real.
Actually it is. It’s called the internet. More and more people join online dating sites every day, and I am one of them. I joined Match.com because they told me it’s okay to look. I’ve only been on two dates so far and I joined in November. I was a member of eHarmony for six months and I only went on two dates with that one. I’m also a member of Plenty Of Fish, Zoosk, and OkCupid.
Here’s my profile on Match.
Maybe you can give me some tips on what I’m doing wrong.
I used to make fun of these people. I would joke to my friends and say, “What are they going to tell their kids, that they met on a dating site?” Sure they will. Now I’m putting the hopes and dreams of my personal life into these services just like all of those people. And ‘why not?’ is the way that I look at it. It’s as viable an option as any. It’s better than drunkenly meeting someone at a bar. I met my last two girlfriends’ in a bar; those went terrific (hardy-har).
What Am I Doing Wrong?
Maybe I don’t put in the time and effort that I should. Maybe I don’t have enough pictures on my profile. Maybe the username (schlepin24) turns girls off, as one of the meanings of schlepping is to move lazily or sluggishly (I just think it’s a cool word, that’s all). Maybe I’m a repulsive beast that turns into a hairy werewolf at night (and not the sexy Twilight kind either). I don’t know! I honestly don’t understand anything in the dating world anymore. It doesn’t help that I’m hell-a shy.
You want to know what I think is hilarious? I think that it’s funny that in a time where everyone is seemingly so accessible, meeting someone is far more difficult than it ever has been. Everything is an audition. On Match, I only have the impression that my profile gives of me.
You may think the exact opposite of that, but look at it the way I look at it: I wake up, I go to work, I go work out (the gym is not a viable place to meet somebody), I go back home, write, read, I go to bed. That’s the day. Where do I have time to meet anybody?
I understand that there are all kinds of ways to meet people, and I guess I just need to make the time to put myself out there more. Maybe I should do a speed dating event? Like I said, I have no idea. The dating game is such a complete crapshoot. And I’m totally frustrated.
Here’s what I think I’m going to do: Email every single girl on match.com. Then I’ll have to get some kind of response! At least, one would be inclined to think that if I did do that.
Now, who’s up for dinner and a movie?
What do you think? Where are the good places to meet people? Do you think that meeting someone online is just as organic as meeting someone in real life nowadays?