From The Guys, Guest Post: Women Have All the Power
Note: This is the second in a series of guest posts, “From The Guys,” written by two of my friends who blog at Simon and Cole. Over the course of the next few months they will be discussing common misconceptions women have about men and telling stories about relationships and dating from the honest and upfront, dude’s perspective. This second one is from Cole.
Fact: Attractive women are capable, in a far greater capacity than men, of going out at night and getting most any guy they so desire.
Imagine it’s a few months from now. For some reason or another-maybe because of a failed relationship, maybe no luck dating, or maybe just our love of spending money on useless things-you are at a crowded seminar given by a relationship counselor by the name of Cole Horn. The beginning has been moderately interesting. He has touched on some common misconceptions women have about men, some general dating advice, and then he asks everyone to fill out a questionnaire attached to the registration packet.
The questionnaire has a space for circling your gender, and below, one question: If you were out at a bar and saw someone you found attractive, would you sleep with them?
Cole collects all your questionnaires and sorts them by gender. The results are extremely telling. Over 90 percent of the men answer yes, compared to only 30 percent of the women.
Here is a little secret about men (one that I probably shouldn’t be divulging): if a guy is turned on (which is most of the time), and a girl starts flirting with him and he thinks she is “cute,” in most cases, he would be more than happy to sleep with her that night.
Now this may seem obvious, and many women are probably saying, “Oh, but that’s the same with us!” But, it just doesn’t seem to be the case.
So, let’s break this down a little further:
What does “cute” mean? When a girl says a guy is cute it means that she is willing to be persuaded into going on a date with him-unless of course it’s the drawn out “he’s cuuuuttteeeee.” In most cases she is not going to sleep with that guy that night; sex is reserved for the drop-dead gorgeous guys.
When a guy says a girl is cute, although yes, it means something substantially different than hot, he will sleep with her just as willingly as the hot girl. The only difference will come in the later stages when he is freaking out over the hot girl and maybe or maybe not really into the cute girl. Hence, while only the upper echelon of guys, usually celebrity-looking types, or just plain celebrities, can make even the prudest of women have sex with them shortly after meeting, any semi-attractive (we are talking at least as cute as Lo from “The Hills” [and for those girls who think you're not cuter than her, you probably are]) girl can get that 90 percent of guys. The scales are not equal.
What is my point?
I hear so many of my close girl friends complaining about not being able to get guys. Usually, they are talking about nice guys and thinking there is some sort of drastic difference in the approach. I just told you!-You can get way way more guys than you think. And ever moreso, if you don’t want to sleep with them, you could at least secure a date by being more forward. And I know the default response for this is: it’s a guy’s job to be aggressive. But, I’ve got news for you, we aren’t any better at this than you are.
If you think a guy is attractive and you want to get to know him, or just take him home, tell him. More times than not, you’ll get what you want. And if not, we aren’t going to slap you or mace you, or tell our friends we think you’re creepy.