Thanks for sharing such good thoughts!

I wonder if the power balance would be different if you broke it down into different categories depending on the objective–sex, dates, relationship, marriage.

As long as women stand by and wait for the guy to “court”, “pursue”, “make the first move”, “show interest”, etc., then advantage: man imo. All the guy has to do is figure out what she wants to hear and be willing to say it.

I have never thought it was hard to sleep with a guy. My girlfriends and I joke, if we put in effort and went seeking it, we could have sex almost every night with a myriad of men. It's not being vain, it's just as Cole pointed out, we have a lot of power there (with a few caveats).

However, that's not my issue. Cole touched on regardless if it's sex or just getting to know someone else (dating, relationship, etc.) that the power still exists. I have to admit, I don't think I have ever picked up a guy on my own by going up to him. Sounds lame, right? It's always been, I've been introduced by a mutual friend, we start talking at a friends' party, we're sitting next to each other at a bar, etc.

If the women who complain (I'm one of them, I know) are going up to men all the time, striking conversation, being assertive in what they want, then I don't think we would be complaining as much.

Also, I still don't think a girl is a slut if she sleeps with a guy on the first night. If a male thinks that, then he is granted that belief, rightfully so. However, everyone has needs, wants and desires. No one else is going to tell us (men or women) how we should feel or how we act is one way or the other.

b.) Single guys see every girl as a potential mate. From the moment he catches even the slightest semblance of a female, he looks in her direction. This is the primitive part of our brain saying “hell yeah” to our midsection. However, that interest usually dwindles. Whether it happens within seconds of looking at them or after a full on conversation, we tend to thin slice women. That is, we make snap judgments and decide whether or not it is worth our time in the first few seconds. Sometimes it's hard to tell, but I suspect women do the exact same thing.

Generalizations are hard in every spectrum. Of course we love men to take charge, but I don't want a man who only takes charge. Life is a give and take game, not one or the other. Again, @Cole covered a lot of your points and as the writer of this post, I think he properly runs through them Thanks for sharing, Ryan.

A couple things I want to comment on:

1) I really have to say that I disagree with Carlos and Ryan about the slut factor. Yes, I'm sure many guys will have that reaction, but I am also certain that many will not. Furthermore, there are some people that find “sluttiness” attractive because all that means is the girl is not afraid to say “I enjoy sex.” If you want to make it about all of my friends think one way and all of someone else's friends think another way, then you are using inductive reasoning, which is not a valid proof. I am not saying that I am right and you are wrong. We are both right and wrong. But, if you are a girl thinking that you want to sleep with a guy but you are afraid that he will think you're a slut then do you really want to be with that guy anyway if he is going to judge you with this double standard?

2) Ryan: I completely agree with you about the ugly guys hooking up with Maxim models thing. Problem is that this is now wide-spread and known as pick-up artistry. But, yes, with girls, and people in general, there is a susceptibility to mental manipulation which can be a heavy factor in hooking up. But, many times an ugly guy could not get far enough to even use these talking techniques based on his looks.

3) I think people are confusing my post a bit, and this is my fault because I didn't explain it well. My point is that women sometimes expect a guy to talk to them or not be interested, but there are guys who would be interested if you talked to them and are many a bit shy about talking to you. So, nothing is accomplished because of a lack of initiative on both sides. Girls can be more aggressive and get what they want (but sometimes an overly aggressive guy is labeled as a creep). If it is a relationship you want, the same principle applies. If you want a guy to ask you out, starting talking to him. It doesn't have to be sexual, just a nice conversation. If things aren't going to work out they aren't going to work out, but to assume that all guys are interested in sex and only sex (and furthermore that sex is the only thing that could come from approaching them) is just false.

4) I think it's funny that many girls and guys make being a “slut” or a “nice guy [or girl]” mutually exclusive. One of the most genuinely kind guys I know has slept with many many girls. And one of the sweetest, most caring and compassionate girls I know has also slept with many guys. To say that a guy who sleeps with you on the first night is not a nice guy, and also a girl that sleeps with you on the first night is not someone you want to bring home to mom, is absurd. Maybe if we all judged people a little less based on stereotypes and mass generalization we might get past the surface and find people we really like, whether partners or otherwise.