Humility

I think this is a great quote, and I have to agree that I find humility one of the most attractive traits person can exude. Even if it's "fake" modesty, it's still very refreshing. The ego is a freaky, helter-skelter illusion that does not reflect the real essence of who we are. In situations where ego is loud and blaring, it always brings out the worst in my personality. In places and circles where humility is more pronounced, I behave and speak very differently.

For the past 7 weeks I have been unable to speak at all due to an accident and it has made me very humble. I want to use my new, emerging voice consciously and carefully.

Brett, I'm sorry about your accident (I heard about it via Twitter). Interesting when you lose a sense or certain capability, what it might heighten in the interim.

However, I disagree that "fake" modesty is refreshing. The kind of humility that I find most moving is the authentic kind, when you do not need to fake it. It's hard to step away from the ego, for anyone, but to recognize that they've accepted humility into their life and still know their self-worth...ah, that is so refreshing.

Thanks for the thoughts, Brett and I hope your voice and recovery is speedy.

I guess you're right... totally "fake" modesty even more annoying... when someone really does think they are better than everyone else and exudes it with every fiber of their being... but makes an artificial statement to the contrary.

but there's a kind of person who is very strong but also polite and encouraging to others.

There's a guy I read who is a world-class genius in his field. He's probably smarter than 99% of the people who flock around him. Still, he sometimes says very modest things like "Well, there's a lot of people know far, far more about this other aspect of it than I do" or he'll be encouraging to someone working on a project that's probably quite elementary to him... and I can tell he's just trying to be a nice guy and isn't as interested as he comes across.

But I think that's just being polite and genuine humility, not "fake."

Brett, that definitely makes sense but you can't know if he is uninterested just because the project is elementary. He has to know that HE at one time was at that elementary space and the mentors and leaders in the field, helped him to get where he is now.

So in that, even if it's not flooring to him just by showing a little interest and help is humility and at that point, his level of interest isn't as important but that he showed the initial ability to listen and be there.

nice quotation. i think it's counter-cultural to be humble, but i think we can all use more humility in our lives.

Humility definitely attracts me. I often say - it's one thing to be good, another thing to talk about how you're good. I understand self-promotion is important at times, but I have so much more respect for the ones who never need to talk about themselves and people could just FEEL how good they are...does that make sense?

Most people (myself included) are guilty of measuring how good they are against others. Don't think that's the best motivation & measurement of one's value either...

I was just thinking this morning - how many people work hard because they want to work for the betterment of the society, and how many merely see it as an achievement of their own?

Thanks for sharing :)

Ruby, these are good points you bring up.

Can you really be that good if you're talking about how good you are all the time? I think no, because there's something else missing like an insecurity and need to talk about how you're so good. I also agree with Rebecca that confidence is important, we shouldn't shy away from it and I appreciate someone who owns their confidence.

Is it wrong if someone works hard for the betterment of society, but also see it as an achievement of their own?

I like humility. I think Ryan has a quiet confidence that is extremely attractive and intriguing. But I also think that we shouldn't underestimate confidence and put it down. Certainly, we don't want to be around arrogant jerks, but it seems - especially in the blogosphere - that we reward vulnerability, but not confidence. Too often, I can say I'm wrong and learning and be humble and will endear people to me, but confidence provokes the opposite reaction. That person thinks she's right? How dare she?!

It's a fine line to walk. And difficult.

It also reminds me of this thing I have about doctors. And that they're mostly cocky and annoying. Neurosurgeons are the worst (my best friend is engaged to one)... but then, if someone is going to touch my brain, I want them to cocky as hell. You know?

This is timely, because much of the above is in some writing I did recently... funny how we often seem to be thinking in parallel :)

Rebecca, I am attracted to quiet assurance and humility. One of the most successful VC's and investors in Colorado is so humble. However, he knows what he has done and he knows he is smart. He just doesn't go bragging about his money and ability. He also doesn't have to belittle himself.

I always get frustrated when a friend has an amazing talent (let's say pianist) and they go, "Oh well, I'm not that good. I don't really want to play for you." They do anyway, and they wow you with their prodigy-like talent. I think OWNING your talent and being strong with that is important.

Confidence comes from many different places internally and who is to say someone is qualified and someone else isn't. It seems very objective from the outside. I agree, it is a fine line and I'm glad you brought that up!