Limiting Beliefs – Don’t Cling to the Suckers
One of my friends has been single for for the last few years.
She never tried online dating and even amongst our suggestions and ideas, she balked at the idea. I always wondered why, because I knew it couldn’t hurt and isn’t it like, 1 in 3 people meet people online? It’s not that far fetched.
As she expressed, she believed that as a spiritual person since she wasn’t online dating, then other men who are spiritual wouldn’t be either because they too must believe in a more organic, meant-to-be way of meeting.
This thought process is something I can relate to. Nonetheless, a fallacy because where is the proof?
One morning, she woke up and decided to browse an online dating site. To her surprise, she found herself intrigued and interested in a handful of the men on there. She decided to ditch her belief and create her own profile. She laid out exactly who she was. She wasn’t vague and she was honest. Within a day, she had multiple messages from men and even the few she was really interested in (to her surprise)!
She described the feeling as giddy and without a doubt, excited.
Sometimes the thing that we refuse the most, may give way for more opportunity and joy than we could have imagined.
Note: This isn’t to say that online dating is the way, and this isn’t to say it’s my friend’s specific solution but it’s the story that counts.
Illusions VS. Core Beliefs:
If someone is scared of doing something (quitting their job, online dating, taking a risk) that fear isn’t a core belief. It’s our reaction to the belief. We say, “I could never quit my job that I hate because I wouldn’t have enough money and no one would hire me.” Or, “I would never meet someone that I actually fall for through online dating.”
Those are fears and thoughts.
I’ve learned that to identify with what’s really stopping you, the belief behind it, you have to look deeper than the thoughts and not let the thoughts hold you back.
Want to know what’s really funny? If I look back at all the times I have been held back or frozen in fear, it was me stopping me. No one else.
More often than not, what we fear most, doesn’t come true. If we focus on it, it most definitely could. Intention is powerful.
I hear people lament and complain all the time (yep, myself included) and I ask them why won’t they just do what they want? What follows is a look of incredulous confusion on their face and then, they list a million reasons why not…
I propose, let’s start talking about the reasons why we should.