Women We Stand
A lot of my time is spent online. I’ve spent many years, cataloging my favorite stories I’ve run into. As a writer myself, I’m enamored by the words of intelligent minds.
Recently, I uncovered some of my favorite articles on gender, women, and inspiration (my own thematic tagging) and I felt compelled to share them here.
“I can say this: I didn’t need a broken man to repair me. I needed a whole man who believed in repair.” –New York Times. Modern Love; Healing Sought (Bring Your Own Magic).
“There are two things that set me apart from the vast majority of my friends. Or I used to think so, and it made me feel badly.
Now I know we’re all special. We all have our own scars, our own hopes, and our own plans, as particular to us as our fingerprints, whatever others might assume to be true. What I thought was happening around me was only the shallow water in the pool.
There are a million quiet stories being written every day.” -Meg Fowler. I Guess That Makes Me Special.
“We’re still a long way from a gender-egalitarian marital utopia, but traditional marriage is blessedly deceased. With its demise has come a new marriage model that is by nearly every measure better for men, women and children, and is hopefully continuing to improve.” -The Guardian. Traditional marriage is dead. Let’s celebrate.
I want the strongest, happiest, smartest women in my corner, pushing me to negotiate for more money, telling me to drop men who make me feel bad about myself, and responding to my outfit selfies from a place of love and stylishness, not competition and body-snarking. True confidence is infectious. –The Cut. Shine Theory: Why Powerful Women Make the Greatest Friends
“There is no retreating from the hookup culture to an earlier age, when a young man showed up at the front door with a box of chocolates for his sweetheart, and her father eyed him warily. Even the women most frustrated by the hookup culture don’t really want that. The hookup culture is too bound up with everything that’s fabulous about being a young woman in 2012—the freedom, the confidence, the knowledge that you can always depend on yourself. The only option is what Hannah’s friends always tell her—stop doing what feels awful, and figure out what doesn’t.
Young men and women have discovered a sexual freedom unbridled by the conventions of marriage, or any conventions. But that’s not how the story ends. They will need time, as one young woman at Yale told me, to figure out what they want and how to ask for it. Ultimately, the desire for a deeper human connection always wins out, for both men and women. Even for those business-school women, their hookup years are likely to end up as a series of photographs, buried somewhere on their Facebook page, that they do or don’t share with their husband—a memory that they recall fondly or sourly, but that hardly defines them.” -The Atlantic. Boys On the Side.
“Other than that? You have to be optimistic, be patient, write down everything you’re grateful for every night, and remember that you will look back on this time as one of the most important times of your life. You’ll look back and feel really proud of how you conducted yourself, how strong you stayed in the face of your loneliness, and how much you appreciated what you had. It’s true that you could be in this place for 2 years or 12 years, and even so, you will look back and feel good about it if you play your cards right. It’s amazing to have your own business and your own place and your own cat. You are living the good life, for sure, and while it’s great that you’re open to finding love (which takes its own kind of effort) nothing that happens on that front should undermine how satisfying and hard-won your happiness is right now. You have to believe in your life and romanticize it as much as you can. Remind yourself to feel proud of what you’ve built, and what you’ve overcome, every single day. And feel proud of your flaws and your loneliness and your big heart, too. It’s ok to feel vulnerable about wanting love and not finding it. That vulnerability will lead you to good places, even when it feels like it’ll topple your apple cart. You don’t have to be perfect. Let yourself be a little weird, a little uncertain, a little brash. Let yourself get a little messier. Let your seams show. Be proud of your broken pieces. They’re the best part of you.
Don’t speed through these days to get to the good part. This IS the good part. Savor it.” -The AWL. Ask Polly: I’m 33 and Single. What Am I Doing Wrong?
“Sometimes it feels good to reject cultural notions of femininity and take up residence on a strange earth and live among the Others—to be told that for a while, you were that sort of girl, the one all the men wanted, admired, and desired, and could never quite grab hold of. A mirror that telegraphed back their values, but beautiful.
But that girl also grows up and learns it’s better to be real than cool. And without suggesting that the end result for everyone is to pair off and settle down, most people do mellow with age. And they do settle, just more easily into their own complexities, more easily into something less prone to typecasting.
Which is probably why I don’t know a single woman in her thirties, forties or beyond who is at all like the Cool Girls I knew in my twenties or still see from a distance. At this age, they are serious and fun. Masculine and feminine. Simple and complicated. Transparent and elusive. You know, just people.” –Jezebel. The ‘Cool Girl’ Is Not Fiction, But a Phase.
“You should enjoy this part of your life, not as a preparatory stage, but as something that is just fun in and of itself.” In other words, your “real life” doesn’t begin when you meet a partner. It’s happening right now.
Besides, repeated studies have found that the more educated a woman is, the more likely she is to marry, and the older she marries, the less likely she’ll be to divorce—so statistically speaking, if you want to get married, you most likely will. And before you know it, car pools and nut allergies will become your dinner conversation staples. Then you’ll look back on your single years as one of the most adventurous times of your life, when you had no excuse to do anything but be yourself to the fullest. -Marie Claire. Flying Solo.