I stumbled across Melissa’s recent post, “What Makes a Friendship?” and I was immediately intrigued. She talks about how she doesn’t make friends easily and it takes her a while to feel comfortable with someone before a friendship (if at all) follows. Furthermore, she believes that making friends was easiest when we were children:
“It was easier to make friends as a child. You point at someone and say, “That’s my friend.” And that’s it. You have a new best friend. It’s not so easy anymore. I wish building friendships could be that simplistic again. Or maybe they are that simple and I just didn’t know it.”
In response to her post I agreed that friendships are more complicated as we grow in age. There’s more at risk. It was simple as a child, but so was everything because we were laced with innocence and lacked experience. We weren’t jaded, yet.
Friendships Should Be Effortless (plus a little work that you want to put in)
My best friends (new and old) all began effortlessly. I really believe chemistry connects people (romantically and in a platonic way). I never have to try with my best friends. You share stories, passion, interests, desires, etc. Some of my best friends are very different than me, we argue and disagree, but we both fill a need for the other and find grace within our differences.
Some of my best friends and I. Ya know, doing best friend stuff.
Any relationship is “work” but it ends up being work that you want to do. It’s not hard to do something kind for those relationships in my life; whether it’s buying them a drink, picking them up at 1:00 AM at the airport, listening to them cry and complain or helping them move. It’s work I’m willing to put in, because it’s just part of the friendship package. I’m fiercely loyal and am not a fan of fair weathered friends.
Melissa also lamented that online friendships are difficult to gauge. We all “follow” each others blogs or Twitter accounts but sometimes question where the line is drawn, what to say or will they like me online? I say be you. Begin to let go of the beliefs like “they won’t think I’m witty enough,” etc. because being honest and yourself is the way you want those who you click with (woah, pun, I guess intended) to like you.
Making New Friends-Surprise Yourself
To me, friendships are irreplaceable. I’ve been blessed with deep friendships that I know will last a lifetime and with friends that are living around the world (fortunately and unfortunately). It’s important for posterity, success and happiness. Moving to Boulder I had no friends living here and although I had the backbone of friends elsewhere, it’s important to have friends in your current home. I went through the lonely stage but was almost forced to meet new people and create a new friend circle. Although I had to be pushed to meet new people by putting myself out there, my current friends that I am so lucky to be friends with, occurred because of a connection that we both felt.
Sometimes in life we have to break outside of our comfort zone. Yes, even with friendships. Friendships can come and go like the ocean tide, but they also occur with ease because of the natural fit. Let that fit happen. Relax and jump in. You will be surprised what might happen and the lifelong friendship you may have just found…