Comments on: Is It Hard For You To Make Friends? http://smallhandsbigideas.com/relationships/is-it-hard-for-you-to-make-friends/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=is-it-hard-for-you-to-make-friends Startups:Career:Relationships:Inspiration: Via Grace Boyle Mon, 06 Feb 2012 14:49:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Robbieyohn http://smallhandsbigideas.com/relationships/is-it-hard-for-you-to-make-friends/comment-page-1/#comment-5576 Robbieyohn Sun, 29 Jan 2012 13:44:00 +0000 http://smallhandsbigideas.com/?p=804#comment-5576 I try so hard to make friends and I put most of the effort into keeping them but then they dwindle and I lose contact and never hear from them. I don't drive, they do and it would be easier to meet someplace but they make up excuses like I cannot come and I am too busy when I sense they aren't. I have no friends at the moment, at least not where I live. I have epals and I hear from them occasionally. It's not easy being the party of 1 at a restaurant or coffee house. I have never been with anyone and people seem to judge others easily. I am not a bad person. I don't smoke,don't drink,don't use drugs. I try not to keep up with the Jones either. I like being myself and all of people expect me to be like everyone else and I refuse to. That's why we are all in ourselves unique people. I don't text much at all or use the cell phone. I want to find friends who grew up in a time where technology was simple, manners were important and how one treated one another was considered. Seems like people use people as "friends" and then  dump them. I didn't dump these friends, they dumped me. I used to call,email,etc to set up time together. It hurted alot. I have lost a lot of trust in people anymore and it's no wonder. Friendships do take time and some people connect well with another and others don't. Europeans have few friends and many acquaintances. This is especially true in Germany and Northern European countries. Having that special friend is quite rare. The rest are called bekannte which are acquaintances that you know at work,religious places, etc.  One thing and having Germanic ancestry is family ties. Very strong. Most Europeans are like that as well as Asians and Native Americans,Latin Americans. Americans from my point of view are gossipy,too fashion and trend conscious, money conscious and extremely religious. Very materialistic. An odd combination. Whatever happened to taking care of one another? I have seen so many false friendships and they turn out to end eventually. I admit I am an introvert. I do internalize my life and spend a lot of it at home,reading,studying,exercising,playing the violin. But I like to get to know some people but they don't seem to want to get to know me. We all have things in our lives which others find odd/unusual. But does that mean we cannot develop a friendship based on trust,understanding and accepance of another? I try so hard to make friends and I put most of the effort into keeping them but then they dwindle and I lose contact and never hear from them. I don’t drive, they do and it would be easier to meet someplace but they make up excuses like I cannot come and I am too busy when I sense they aren’t. I have no friends at the moment, at least not where I live. I have epals and I hear from them occasionally.
It’s not easy being the party of 1 at a restaurant or coffee house. I have never been with anyone and people seem to judge others easily. I am not a bad person. I don’t smoke,don’t drink,don’t use drugs. I try not to keep up with the Jones either. I like being myself and all of people expect me to be like everyone else and I refuse to. That’s why we are all in ourselves unique people.

I don’t text much at all or use the cell phone. I want to find friends who grew up in a time where technology was simple, manners were important and how one treated one another was considered. Seems like people use people as “friends” and then  dump them. I didn’t dump these friends, they dumped me. I used to call,email,etc to set up time together. It hurted alot. I have lost a lot of trust in people anymore and it’s no wonder.

Friendships do take time and some people connect well with another and others don’t.
Europeans have few friends and many acquaintances. This is especially true in Germany and Northern European countries. Having that special friend is quite rare.
The rest are called bekannte which are acquaintances that you know at work,religious places, etc.  One thing and having Germanic ancestry is family ties. Very strong.
Most Europeans are like that as well as Asians and Native Americans,Latin Americans.

Americans from my point of view are gossipy,too fashion and trend conscious, money conscious and extremely religious. Very materialistic. An odd combination.
Whatever happened to taking care of one another? I have seen so many false friendships and they turn out to end eventually.
I admit I am an introvert. I do internalize my life and spend a lot of it at home,reading,studying,exercising,playing the violin. But I like to get to know some people but they don’t seem to want to get to know me.

We all have things in our lives which others find odd/unusual. But does that mean we cannot develop a friendship based on trust,understanding and accepance of another?

]]> By: The Power of People Who Are “Down” | Small Hands, Big Ideas http://smallhandsbigideas.com/relationships/is-it-hard-for-you-to-make-friends/comment-page-1/#comment-2695 The Power of People Who Are “Down” | Small Hands, Big Ideas Wed, 17 Mar 2010 15:52:39 +0000 http://smallhandsbigideas.com/?p=804#comment-2695 [...] by knowing myself, I have found friends whose down beaker’s are overflowing too. We suck the risk, goodness and fun out of life and [...] [...] by knowing myself, I have found friends whose down beaker’s are overflowing too. We suck the risk, goodness and fun out of life and [...]

]]> By: From the Guys, Guest Post: Is Saying “I’m Busy” the Easiest Way to Weasel Out of A Commitment? | Small Hands, Big Ideas http://smallhandsbigideas.com/relationships/is-it-hard-for-you-to-make-friends/comment-page-1/#comment-1391 From the Guys, Guest Post: Is Saying “I’m Busy” the Easiest Way to Weasel Out of A Commitment? | Small Hands, Big Ideas Thu, 05 Nov 2009 23:13:27 +0000 http://smallhandsbigideas.com/?p=804#comment-1391 [...] typically strain myself to keep my best friends close, which keeps me remarkably organized but also unbearably busy. Very few of those friends are [...] [...] typically strain myself to keep my best friends close, which keeps me remarkably organized but also unbearably busy. Very few of those friends are [...]

]]> By: One-Year Anniversary of Small Hands, Big Ideas and My Move to Boulder | Small Hands, Big Ideas http://smallhandsbigideas.com/relationships/is-it-hard-for-you-to-make-friends/comment-page-1/#comment-928 One-Year Anniversary of Small Hands, Big Ideas and My Move to Boulder | Small Hands, Big Ideas Fri, 14 Aug 2009 16:06:50 +0000 http://smallhandsbigideas.com/?p=804#comment-928 [...] into, finding my first post-college job, being alone in a new city I just decided to move to, the new friends I made, the friends I’ve lost, heartache, moving twice, feeling alone, the mistakes and the growth. [...] [...] into, finding my first post-college job, being alone in a new city I just decided to move to, the new friends I made, the friends I’ve lost, heartache, moving twice, feeling alone, the mistakes and the growth. [...]

]]> By: Can Your Personality Control How Long You Live? | Small Hands, Big Ideas http://smallhandsbigideas.com/relationships/is-it-hard-for-you-to-make-friends/comment-page-1/#comment-881 Can Your Personality Control How Long You Live? | Small Hands, Big Ideas Mon, 10 Aug 2009 15:04:24 +0000 http://smallhandsbigideas.com/?p=804#comment-881 [...] comport with what you would expect from evolutionary theory: those who are extroverted enough to make friends and help others are those who are going to be able to gather enough resources to make it through [...] [...] comport with what you would expect from evolutionary theory: those who are extroverted enough to make friends and help others are those who are going to be able to gather enough resources to make it through [...]

]]> By: Siva http://smallhandsbigideas.com/relationships/is-it-hard-for-you-to-make-friends/comment-page-1/#comment-1994 Siva Sat, 08 Aug 2009 16:52:24 +0000 http://smallhandsbigideas.com/?p=804#comment-1994 I think i found one this week and i wish it gets acceptance and lasts long :) don't you ask who is that? ;-) I think i found one this week and i wish it gets acceptance and lasts long :) don't you ask who is that? ;-)

]]> By: Siva http://smallhandsbigideas.com/relationships/is-it-hard-for-you-to-make-friends/comment-page-1/#comment-877 Siva Sat, 08 Aug 2009 12:52:24 +0000 http://smallhandsbigideas.com/?p=804#comment-877 I think i found one this week and i wish it gets acceptance and lasts long :) don't you ask who is that? ;-) I think i found one this week and i wish it gets acceptance and lasts long :) don't you ask who is that? ;-)

]]> By: Grace Boyle http://smallhandsbigideas.com/relationships/is-it-hard-for-you-to-make-friends/comment-page-1/#comment-826 Grace Boyle Mon, 03 Aug 2009 16:52:25 +0000 http://smallhandsbigideas.com/?p=804#comment-826 @Elisa Ah, yes I've heard that many times before. Not all girls are girly though and if you're being yourself, then you don't want to be friends with those kind of 'girls' anyway. I feel you on that and I have a lot of guy friends, because I too am blunt, outgoing and like how they have a little less drama surrounding them. However, my girlfriends that I'm so close with, are like me too. There are all kinds of people out there...<br><br>You're SO right that we don't have shared history anymore, no more sandbox, a lot of moving and changing. This comes up when I was studying abroad and traveling. Sometimes we were in a place for three days and you're alone or want to meet fellow travelers and you make friends fast. Although they are for the moment, you can get close under the circumstances. I really think there are a lot of kinds of friends, nothing bad, just different. Hmm...another blog post? ;) @Elisa Ah, yes I've heard that many times before. Not all girls are girly though and if you're being yourself, then you don't want to be friends with those kind of 'girls' anyway. I feel you on that and I have a lot of guy friends, because I too am blunt, outgoing and like how they have a little less drama surrounding them. However, my girlfriends that I'm so close with, are like me too. There are all kinds of people out there…

You're SO right that we don't have shared history anymore, no more sandbox, a lot of moving and changing. This comes up when I was studying abroad and traveling. Sometimes we were in a place for three days and you're alone or want to meet fellow travelers and you make friends fast. Although they are for the moment, you can get close under the circumstances. I really think there are a lot of kinds of friends, nothing bad, just different. Hmm…another blog post? ;)

]]> By: Elisa Doucette http://smallhandsbigideas.com/relationships/is-it-hard-for-you-to-make-friends/comment-page-1/#comment-825 Elisa Doucette Mon, 03 Aug 2009 16:47:36 +0000 http://smallhandsbigideas.com/?p=804#comment-825 I'd like to say it's perception, but I think it's a fact. On discussinng with one girl recently, she told me "I think it's just hard for a girl to "get you" cause you are so blunt and loud and direct and not girly at all. It's like being around a guy with you, but you obviously aren't one. Once she [referencing a girl recently met at a party] got to know you more she really liked you though."<br><br>I think a lot of friendships are indicative of the situation and shared history. That's part of why it's harder to maintain close friendships when we are adults. When we are younger the situations are similar (simpler) and the history is minimal (and generally simpler.) Now we're in different jobs/locations/life events/etc and trying to find someone to just go play in the sandbox with is a little more difficult. Too bad, though, playing in the sandbox and the jungle gym were always two of my favorites! I'd like to say it's perception, but I think it's a fact. On discussinng with one girl recently, she told me “I think it's just hard for a girl to “get you” cause you are so blunt and loud and direct and not girly at all. It's like being around a guy with you, but you obviously aren't one. Once she [referencing a girl recently met at a party] got to know you more she really liked you though.”

I think a lot of friendships are indicative of the situation and shared history. That's part of why it's harder to maintain close friendships when we are adults. When we are younger the situations are similar (simpler) and the history is minimal (and generally simpler.) Now we're in different jobs/locations/life events/etc and trying to find someone to just go play in the sandbox with is a little more difficult. Too bad, though, playing in the sandbox and the jungle gym were always two of my favorites!

]]> By: Grace Boyle http://smallhandsbigideas.com/relationships/is-it-hard-for-you-to-make-friends/comment-page-1/#comment-822 Grace Boyle Mon, 03 Aug 2009 16:26:33 +0000 http://smallhandsbigideas.com/?p=804#comment-822 @Elisa Your second point is interesting. Why do you think women don't like to be close friends with you? Is that really a fact...or is it something that you also feel from your end? It is hard for men to be friends (platonic) with women, but it's very much indicative of the situation and potentially shared history. <br><br>I've been thinking about this post and it's sort of a weird question, is it hard for you to make friends? I was trying to portray that it could potentially be hard for everyone to make friends, but when there's a connection, it will simply be there. I don't like a lot of random acquaintances and really true friends, don't come around everyday. So the in between and waiting game is pretty natural which I don't think has anything to do with any person. <br><br>Anyway, just my thoughts...thanks for sharing :) @Elisa Your second point is interesting. Why do you think women don't like to be close friends with you? Is that really a fact…or is it something that you also feel from your end? It is hard for men to be friends (platonic) with women, but it's very much indicative of the situation and potentially shared history.

I've been thinking about this post and it's sort of a weird question, is it hard for you to make friends? I was trying to portray that it could potentially be hard for everyone to make friends, but when there's a connection, it will simply be there. I don't like a lot of random acquaintances and really true friends, don't come around everyday. So the in between and waiting game is pretty natural which I don't think has anything to do with any person.

Anyway, just my thoughts…thanks for sharing :)

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