Each year that I grow older, my tolerance lowers.
I used to fly with the breeze and care so little about who said what or even people’s actions (toward me). I think in part, it was the process of growing up, learning what matters to you, understanding your core values and realizing that putting your foot down is sometimes, the most important thing you can do for yourself.
Today, I find myself caring. Hard. Maybe even sometimes, too much.
I get upset and righteous when someone I’m close to permeates constant negativity toward themselves or others. Why does it matter? Are they hurting me? No. I just think negativity doesn’t serve a purpose and I’ve found, it’s not something I actively choose to create around me daily.
I get in a tussle when I find people leaning too heavily on me. Need and want are two different things. As is, a give and take relationship. For some reason, I used to never care when people would take, take, take, ask, ask, ask. I was so lax. Now, it’s one of my buttons and I’m sensitive to it because I’ve experienced the burnout that only I bring onto myself, by allowing the take. Today, I practice “no” more often and have a tight community that I know I can ask them, they can ask me, we both want to give. Otherwise, the I-can’t-pull-myself-up-by-my-bootstraps crap gets to me.
Another thing that gets under my skin? When customer service fails and when they’re blatantly rude, even though I’m the paying customer. We all make mistakes. It’s not that, it’s when people project their poor customer service on you, going against their role. For instance, I’m usually so sweet I never have sent back a dish at a restaurant before. But now, if I’m treated with disrespect or if I’m asking for help from a company I pay for and their support falls through, the wrath comes on. Let’s all treat each other with respect.
Another thing? When friends show up only when they need something. Before, I didn’t really realize this. Now, it’s exhausting. It’s also obvious and lopsided.
I used to sleep on the floor if need be, stay up late, take red-eyes, take multiple connecting flights because it’s cheaper, etc. etc. Now, there’s value to the dollar and how hard I work. A direct flight for a little more, always worth it. A little more sleep, to get through the day and stay healthy because I’m not 18 anymore, worth it.
Lately, I’ve been hyper-aware of my lowered tolerance. I’m into slicing through the bullshit and making a more authentic, enjoyable experience. It is worth being happy and if things don’t make you happy, find out why, then change it.
When I read through this, this whole lowered tolerance bit sounds intense, but it’s all about recognizing our needs and opening up the pathways for a more fulfilling life.
What about you? What’s your tolerance?